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From today's featured article 

AStaringContest.jpg

In a series of declassified documents containing accounts of wars, rumors of wars, and battles that have no victors or defeated opponents or worldwide destruction that can be defined by any costs or empires captured, there is a hearty bunch of terrified witness to the fact that Cthulhu was a main concern for the multibillionaire corporation known as the Government of the United States. While there does seem to be a list of who was involved directly in the dismantling of the beast known as Mister Squid Face, it's unclear how many from the corporation of the United States had been assigned the task of the impossible conquest to take down an ancient Slime Lord that's been nothing but trouble. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
  • ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
  • ... that the butler did it?

In the news 

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Kim Kardashian gets ready for a facial

Ongoing: Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael-Hamas conflictUnited States presidential election aftermathNBA and NHL seasons
Recent deaths: Yahya SinwarEurovision Song ContestQuincy JonesThe Most Mysterious Song on the InternetAmerican Democrat sea.. err, democracyTony Todd
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir PutinKate Middleton • The Dallas Cowboys', New York Jets', and Chicago Bears' playoff chances • Noam ChomskyGoogle as a monopoly • Coldplay

On this day 

One way to assure Lightning Awareness is to be struck by it

November 12: Lightning Awareness Day

  • 1513 - In one of his lesser known works, "Mein Scheisskampf", Martin Luther claims to have gotten into a battle with the devil, flinging his "Scheisse" as a weapon. No shit.
  • 1620 - A number of pirates shipwreck on a gigantic rock off the Massachusetts coast. In a measure to combat cannibalism amongst the surviving members, the Mayflower Compact is signed. In the end, however, nine are eaten with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
  • 1775 - American Revolutionary War: The Continental Congress passes a resolution creating two battalions of mimes, later renamed the United States Mime Corps. They are primarily used as human shields.
  • 1880 - Ned Kelly is hanged in Australia for beating around the bush.
  • 1996 - The Paris Hilton opens for its first customer.

Picture of the day

Mermaid Clothes
"Mommy, why don't Mermaids wear clothes?" - "Seriously Johnny, think about it..."

Image credit: RAHB
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