Doctor Who (1963–1989)

Tom Baker: Doctor Who

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Quotes 

• The Doctor : "Eureka" is Greek for "this bath is too hot."

• The Doctor : Now drop your weapons or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby.

  Warrior : Kill him, then.

  The Doctor : What?

  Warrior : Kill him, then.

  The Doctor : I don't take orders from anyone.

  [Eats jelly baby] 

  The Doctor : Take me to your leader.

• The Doctor : You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering.

• The Doctor : You're a classic example of the inverse relationship between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

• The Doctor : You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle.

• The Doctor : Crush the lesser races. Conquer the galaxy. Incredible power, unlimited rice pudding, et cetera, et cetera.

• The Doctor : A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.

• [on oil] 

  The Doctor : It's about time the people who run this planet of yours realized that to be dependent on a mineral slime just doesn't make sense.

• The Doctor : Listen, there are no measurements in infinity. You humans have got such limited little minds. I don't know why I like you so much.

  Sarah : Because you have such good taste.

  The Doctor : That's true. That's very true.

• The Doctor : Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I've ever encountered.

• Amelia Rumford : Can I ask you a personal question?

  The Doctor : Well, I don't see how I can stop you asking.

  Amelia Rumford : Are you from outer space?

  The Doctor : No, I'm more from what you would call inner time.

• The Doctor : There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

• The Fourth Doctor : Oh, don't listen to me... I never do.

• Borusa : You have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe.

  The Doctor : Well, I do talk to myself sometimes.

• The Doctor : I wonder...

  Leela : What?

  The Doctor : Shh. I'm wondering.

• Amelia Rumford : I still don't understand about hyperspace.

  The Doctor : Well, who does?

  K9 : I do.

  The Doctor : Oh shut up, K9!

• The Doctor : The best way to find out where you are from is find out where you are going and work backwards.

• The Doctor : Well, you'd better introduce me.

  Romana : As what?

  The Doctor : Oh, I don't know, a wise and wonderful person who wants to help. Don't exaggerate.

• The Doctor : As we learn about each other, so we learn about ourselves.

• Countess Scarlioni : Oh, Doctor, I'm quite convinced you're perfectly mad.

  The Doctor : Only at my worst. Nobody's perfect.

• The Doctor : You're a beautiful woman, probably.

• Eldrad : Where are your weapons?

  The Doctor : [tapping his head]  In here.

• The Doctor : To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.

• Leela : The Evil One.

  The Doctor : Well, nobody's perfect, but that's overstating it a little.

• The Doctor : Time and tide melts the snowman.

• The Fourth Doctor : Would you mind not standing on me, my hat's on fire.

• The Doctor : Don't worry. I always leave things until the last moment.

• The Doctor : It's very very old, perhaps even older.

• The Doctor : What is the one thing evil cannot face, not ever?

  Tegan : What?

  The Doctor : Itself.

• The Doctor : The trouble with computers, of course, is that they're very sophisticated idiots. They do exactly what you tell them at amazing speed. Even if you order them to kill you. So if you do happen to change your mind, it's very difficult to stop them from obeying the original order.

  [stops computer from destroying Earth] 

  The Doctor : But not impossible.

• The Doctor : No. Impossible. I'm fully booked for the next two centuries.

• The Doctor : Deactivating a generator loop without the correct key is like repairing a watch with a hammer and chisel. One false move and you'll never know the time again.

• The Doctor : Once upon a time there were three sisters, and they lived in the bottom of a treacle well. Their names were Olga, Marsha and Irene... Are you listening, Tillie? I feel disorientated.

  Sarah : This is the disorientation centre.

  The Doctor : That makes sense.

• The Doctor : You see, if you take any progressive series, it can be converted into binary notation. Now, if you take the sum of the integrants and express the result as a power series, then the indices show the basic binary blocks, only I wouldn't do it if I were you.

• The Doctor : I've got a pistol.

  Sarah : But you'd never use it.

  The Doctor : True. But they don't know that, do they?

• The Doctor : Just be your natural horrid self.

• Leela : Within the black wall wherein lies paradise.

  The Doctor : Is that just religious gobbledygook or is that an actual place?

• Stor : I am Commander Stor of the Sontaran Special Space Service.

  The Doctor : The SSSS. Eh, isn't that carrying alliteration a little far?

• The Doctor : [after being shoved by Hermann the butler]  I say, what a wonderful butler, he's so violent.

• The Doctor : "Only in mathematics will we find truth." Borusa used to say that during my time at the Academy - and now he's setting out to prove it.

• The Doctor : I thought I recognized the stars.

  Sarah : You've been here before?

  The Doctor : I was born in these parts.

  Sarah : Near here?

  The Doctor : Well, within a couple of billion miles, yes.

• The Doctor : I never carry weapons. If people see you mean them no harm, they never hurt you. Nine times out of ten.

• The Doctor : You're working for a madman, you know.

  Scorby : He pays well.

• Leela : It was as if there was a sort of glow all around you.

  The Fourth Doctor : There was? Well, a kind of St. Elmo's fire, it happens at sea.

  Leela : St. Elmo's?

  The Fourth Doctor : Yes, it causes a sort of halo effect around the masts of ships.

  Leela : Halo?

  The Fourth Doctor : Why do you keep repeating everything I say, you're not a parrot, are you?

  Leela : Parrot?

• [to the Cybermen] 

  The Doctor : You have no home planet, no influence, nothing! You're just a pathetic bunch of tin soldiers skulking around the galaxy in an antique space craft.

• The Doctor : That's the trouble with antimatter. You can see the effect but not the cause. It's like being punched on the nose by the invisible man.

• The Doctor : I'm sorry to tell you that Romana can look after herself. We're Time Lords. Not like those innocents on Atrios, you know. Time Lords, sent by the Guardian to recover the Key to Time.

  The Shadow : I know who you are, Doctor, I have always known. I have been waiting for you. I too serve a Guardian, a Guardian equal and opposite in power to the one you serve. The Black Guardian - he who walks in darkness. And you are in the valley of the Shadow!

• The Doctor : One good, solid hope's worth a cartload of certainty.

• Leela : I don't know what to believe anymore.

  The Doctor : Well that sounds healthy, anyway, Leela; never be certain of anything. It's a sign of weakness.

• Romana : You mean you didn't believe his story?

  The Doctor : No.

  Romana : But he had such an honest face.

  The Doctor : Romana, you can't be a successful crook with a dishonest face, can you?

• The Fourth Doctor : [to Leela after she almost knifes him]  It's a good thing your tribe never invented firearms... they'd've woken with a start one morning and wiped themselves out.

• Adric : Will Romana be all right?

  The Doctor : All right? She'll be superb.

• The Doctor : Terran insects. Aerodynamically impossible for them to fly, but they do it. I'm rather fond of bumblebees.

• [about to be accused of murder again] 

  The Doctor : You don't think?... You do think.

• Count Federico : He is but one man.

  The Doctor : You can't count, Count.

• The Doctor : He could end up anywhere except where he wants to go.

  Tegan : Rather like the Tardis, really.

• The Doctor : He's gone to see a man about a god.

• The Doctor : It's part of a Time Lord's job to insist on justice for all species.

• The Doctor : One grows tired of jelly babies, Castellan. One grows tired of almost everything, Castellan, except power.

• The Doctor : Superior intelligence and senseless cruelty just do not go together.

• The Doctor : You remember the Mona Lisa? That dreadful woman with no eyebrows who wouldn't sit still?

• Castellan Guard : The Castellan will have me shot, sir.

  The Doctor : Well, that's all right; I'll have him shot.

• Ohica : You feign ignorance, Time Lord?

  The Doctor : Please, just call me Doctor. I hate all this bowing and scraping.

• The Doctor : Marshal, you are quite mad.

  Marshal : Only if I lose.

• The Doctor : That was simply transmigration of object. There's a great deal of difference between that and pure science, you know.

• The Doctor : Gods don't use transceivers.

• The Doctor : This may be the greatest miscalculation since life crawled out of the seas on this miserable planet.

• The Doctor : We're all basically primeval slime with ideas above its station.