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Ice Spiders (2007)
Spiders and slush skiing
This was one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen. No Olympic class skiers would ever ski at this resort. There wasn't hardly any snow left. The base of the slopes was just dirt. The blacktop in the parking lot was dry as a bone. The skiers were a joke. Any intermediate weekend skier could beat them. At first I thought the skiers were wearing a back-back, but I realized that was the "spider" special effect. This was not even funny either. "killer tomatoes" was ten times better. The DVD box had a couple of good reviews. I wonder what movie they saw. The good news was that it was only 86 minutes long. I was able to fast forward through it.
The Hillside Strangler (2004)
Not scary
This was a very poor serial killer movie. It was very lightweight. It was not scary or disturbing in the slightest. It kind of jumped around a lot and didn't keep you "in the moment." "Manhunter" was a thousand times better than this pulp. There was very little character development to show you what was inside the heads of these killers. The movie should have shown more about why the liked to do this so much. In fact, they were drawn as such cartoons, it was hard to believe this was a true story. Also, the victims were not believable at all. I seriously doubt that whores in downtown LA look like this! This didn't even qualify as a "guilty pleasure." Just pass on by this one.
Johnny English (2003)
Poor Peter Sellers Wannabe
We used to enjoy this guy on his TV show of yesteryear. But his foray into the movies has been pretty pathetic. Johnny English is no exception. It seems that he is trying to remake the great Pink Panther movies. He is really falling short. How could anyone think they could compete with Peter Sellers.
Sellers was one of the brilliant comic geniuses of the century.
In this movie the gags has no punch or followthrough.
In the Pink Panther, once Sellers got you going, he just never let up.
I can recall laughing for a long time. In Johnny English, I just giggled. You can just pass on this flick.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Sunday School Revisited
We were very excited to finally see this DVD after all the hoopla and Academy Awards. But were were disappointed to be shown a poor comic book rendition of our childhood Sunday school classes. But....with lots of blood and violence and blood. We allowed our 11 year old to see it in spite of the R rating so she might learn something about our USA Christian heritage. Turns our she learned more at her summer horse back riding camp than this movie taught her.
Pretty disappointing. Clearly Mel was pumping his wallet. He was taking advantage of the right wing Christian swing in the Nation that is following Bush.
The Master of Disguise (2002)
master of crap
Didn't anybody read this script before funding it? I'm wondering if the bankrollers just gave Carvey a blank check for just ad-libbing the entire movie. I don't recall him ever being this bad, even on a talk show. These SNL folks just don't have a clue, yet they keep pulling in the big bucks for their flicks after leaving SNL. Must be a lot of dopers out there with ready cash for the movies. Movies like this are the best evidence yet for the long-term effects of dope. Every one of Dana's characters sounded nearly identical to the others; just different clothes and teeth. I think this is also evidence for the huge egos involved not only on the acting side, but also on the production side. The Hollywood producers really must think we're idiots out here in the hinterlands.
Casa de los babys (2003)
Very negative one-sided view of international adoption
I have been a huge fan of John Sayes for a number of years. I think of him as one of the very best directors. I've managed to track down every single movie he's done. I anxiously await each new one he does every two years. This time I was very angry and disappointed. On the Special Features on the DVD, Sayes tells us how he has spent so much time in South America and really "knows" the people. Yet his political perspective on the international adoption process is extremely one sided and very anti-adoption. Seems like he just met the "Che Guevera" segment of South America (the gringos are stealing our babies). This is a uniquely bad experience for me from all his movies. I always felt that I had a total experience from each one of them; not just one extreme point of view. From a cinematography and acting point of view, the movie was good, but not quite up to Sayes greatness.
The Rundown (2003)
Stifler in an action movie? Give us a break!
I was expecting to really like this movie. It was advertised as the "2nd coming of Arnold Schw.." It got 3 1/2 stars from Ebert. How wrong they were....!!! This movie was a sub-B poor imitation of Romancing the Stone. The guy who played Stifler in American Pie was really miscast. I wanted The Rock to kill him almost immediately to put us all out of our misery. The Rock was good enough as a kind of Kung Fu character, but, to compare him to Arnie or Stallone in their heyday is ludicrous. The action never quite sucked you in nor did the sophomoric comedy. If 5th grade comedy is what your want, look toward Disney who does it much better. The special effects were right out of the 50's; did you see how they tossed around the big GOLD thing like it was cardboard? I love Chris Walken and was looking forward to seeing a great Walken riff in this movie. It never really happened; he just phoned it in.
The Badge (2002)
Falls apart at the end
I'm a big fan of Billy Bob. I usually like Patricia Arquette too. They do a decent acting job in this flick. The bad guys are pretty bad. The first two thirds are suspenseful and interesting. The premise is original. You really identify with Billy Bob. But at about the beginning of the last third it becomes a mess really rapidly. The script tries to resolve all the issues in about a minute. It's very confusing. Some of the ending is just a cop out. In conclusion, see it if you like Billy Bob. Considering it was "made for TV," it was better than you would expect. I don't recall their either of them has done TV before.
The Missing (2003)
Much better than the trailers
After watching the TV trailers, I didn't think I'd like this movie. It was advertised as a "supernatural western." I didn't think it was THAT supernatural. It was just a good, exciting western. Tommy Lee Jones' performance was toned down. This matched his character. Cate Blanchett played a pioneer doctor. She was very believable and mastered a pioneer American accent. Infinitly superior to the cartoon roles for women you usually see from Hollywood like Sharon Stone's performance in her western (forgot the title; it was pretty bad). The second disk of the DVD was crammed with extras. I only had time to see about half of them. This was not Ron Howard's best movie. But, it was good enough to recommend. I give it 3 starts out of four.
Northfork (2003)
This movie is a sham
We rented this DVD on the pluses of: - four star review from Ebert - James Woods and several good actors
But the movie was just a poorly made "artsy flick." It had three sub-plots that were poorly weaved together. Each sub-plot didn't make any sense either. Some reviewers have compared this to artsy movies like "Wings of Desire." No comparison in our opinion. We watch a lot of different movies and this one was like some hollywood types ripped off their producers. No content; no depth; waste of talent, etc. We're shocked that James Woods actually was a producer. Boy, he has really fallen in recent years....maybe too much hollywood glitz and golf!
Cacería (2002)
Boring C Movie
I was shocked to see that this movie was 2002. It looked like a bad C movie (is there such a thing?) from the 70's. Nothing really ever happened. Simple storyline that never got interesting or exciting. Choppy editing. Just pass on this one.
The Tuxedo (2002)
Cut the wires!
What a shame to see Jackie Chan's talents wasted with a bunch of kung fu wires to leap in the air with. The whole joy of watching his movies is the sheer talent and relentless energy he demonstrates while doing all of his own stunts. Leave the wires to those who really need them.
Preston Tylk (2000)
Lots of redundancy kills an OK idea
This movie has some interesting characters and started off pretty tense. But eventually, I got worn out by the endless stupid chase scenes on foot through (maybe the same) forests. I chase you; then you chase me; then we chase him; etc. The same for the "grab the gun from the other guy." Endless.
Dreamcatcher (2003)
Phoning it in
We've known that Steven King has been just in it for the $$ for some time. He just writes crap for the masses. But, this time I saw the stellar cast and thought there might be something here. I'm usually more tolerant of scary movies than dramas anyway. But this was junk. Not even good enough for TV. Even Morgen Freeman was "phoning it in." What was the deal on the Santa eyebrows? Embarrassing. Also, was a shining example of how gross scenes are only just gross; not scary. Who thought that bowel movements in the bathroom were scarey.......? Give me a break. Steven King will have to do a lot of marketing to get me to watch another of his movies.
Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
Who was the audience for this?
We have had a lot of enjoyment out of movies about the Indian culture, so we anxiously awaited this one. There was one about Cricket this year that was especially good. But this one was really hokey. It was too complex for kids and too hokey for adults. The sports sequences were terrible. You couldn't really get connected with this movie. The Indian people were cartoonish; very insulting.
R.S.V.P. (2002)
A bad movie by kids for kids
The advertisement for this movie was a complete lie. It was no more Hitchcockian than "Will and Grace." Also, it was terrible. It looked like some kind of sophomore film project that got a C-. No script whatsoever and poor actors. No one was even trying.
Confidence (2003)
Poor script wastes great cast
What a great and seasoned cast that was assembled for this "sting/grifter" wannabe. Didn't any of them read the script? This was confusing and boring with a poor payoff at the end. The sound track was pretty cool. Check out the two music videos on the DVD.
The Debut (2000)
Nothing new here
I'm happy for the Philippino community to get this great opportunity and they really worked well together to make and distribute the film. However, as a movie, it was pretty much the same old tired "Happy Days" stuff. I didn't think it gave any great insight into this ethnic group like some of the Asian and Mexican attempts have done. In fact, it kind of trivialized them. I can't believe that all they can do it copy the blacks; there's got to be more than that.
The Core (2003)
Smart movie about smart people
I was very apprehensive about renting this movie after so many mindless apocalyptic special effects movies in recent years. Most are all effects and brawn; no characters or brainpower. The Core has it all. It's based on a lot of real science. It has good character development and you actually care about the people. It is about smart people solving problems. It has a lot of great tongue-in-cheek humor too. On the extra features, they said they were trying to make a 1957-style SciFi flick and they succeeded pretty well.
Chicago (2002)
This was no "Moulin Rouge"
What was all the fuss about this movie. It was nothing but a wannabe to the old (boring) musicals of yesteryear. Pretty much every song sounded like the one before and the one after. The stars were so cool to sing their own songs, but, since they are not professional singers, it just came out flat. "Moulin Rouge" reinvented the musical; "Chicago" put it back to bed, sadly.
Gangs of New York (2002)
Painful
How did this movie get all these awards? We found it excruciating slow and painful to watch. It was all about shots of the period. They must have spent a fortune on the sets. No real script that kept your attention. Very long too. We got more out of the half hour extra from the Discovery channel on the DVD that told you everything you needed to know.
An Intimate Friendship (2000)
Poor Student Film Project?
This film had a genuinely interesting premise. But the poor script, acting and general production quality put me to sleep. I have criticized nearly every element of a film at one time or other, but this was the first time I saw such poor looping, especially toward the end of the movie. It was worse then the worst Japanese dubbed godzilla movie from the 50's! And this was in English! Pass this one by.
Tears of the Sun (2003)
Excruciatingly irritating heroine
Monica Bellucci's character was one of the most irritating characters I've seen this year. How an experienced MD living in the jungle could be this naive is beyond belief. She whines and whines and puts the soldiers at extreme risk. This was just not credible. I can't imagine the soldiers would put up with this in real life. I just kept wishing something would happen to take her out or my misery or someone would just hit her up-aside the head. The priest and nuns were irritating too, but I guess this might really happen; there people can be real naive in real life as well as dedicated. I think Bruce Willis had a real chance for a halfway decent movie and should have vetoed the casting. They actually did a decent job at developing the other military characters, but it was destroyed by her character.
Antwone Fisher (2002)
Boring
Am I the only one who fell asleep during this movie; not once, but twice? I've been a big fan on Denzel in the past, but I think he's busy phoning it in these days and is suffering from to much fame. This movie may have been a faithful reproduction of a true story, but there just wasn't much there. Just goes to show you how boring a normal life really is!
Auto Focus (2002)
Made for TV
I grew up with Bob Crane and Hogan. I'm a big fan of Defoe and Kinnear. So, naturally, I expected to like this movie. What a shock to see something so boring and shallow from such a famous writer/director. It was essentially a "made for TV movie." No depth, edginess or sordid roughness that you would expect from the world they had drifted to.