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Never Let Go (2024)
Ropes you in?
With "Never Let Go's" UK release still a week away, I went to Cineworld's 'Secret Screaming' last night reasonably sure that this would be the film. I have mixed feelings about a film that has some great successes, particularly with the performances, but perhaps collapses towards the end from a surfeit of ideas and allegories.
In a remote woodland area, Momma (Halle Berry) is raising her twin sons, Nolan (Percy Daggs IV) and Samuel (Anthony B. Jenkins) at their family's cabin. She has indoctrinated the boys to believe that there is an infectious evil, that only she can see, which has killed the rest of the world, and their only protection is the cabin, which the evil can't touch. This protection can be extended provided they are touching a length of rope, attached to the house's foundations, which allows them to do some rudimentary gardening, hunting, and gathering. The situation is becoming desperate though, as the winter has been harsh, and the food supplies are running critically low.
The performances, from all three of the main cast are exception. The kids especially are both excellent and when, in the second half of the film, they're forced to carry more of the film - their nuanced and touching turns are excellent. The special effect work is usually well done (though not perhaps always) and there are some effective jump scares in the early parts of the film. Then it's all about the oppressive tension of whether the evil is real, or it's all in Momma's head and she could snap at any moment.
Perhaps inevitably, that tension ebbs away as the film reaches its conclusion. It's really tough to talk about why and keep the review spoiler free but hedging its bets, when it comes to making a decision about what's really going on, undercut my interest and perhaps enjoyment of the last act. There are also a lot of interpretations that you can make into the subtext of the film. There's a clear religious aspect - a serpentine villain, faith in seemingly random doctrine; mental illness, isolation, even parenting in general are all factors - but it feels more like it plays lip service to them, whereas engaging properly with one would have been a better way to go.
I like Alexandre Aja's film and am often a staunch defender of "Haute Tension", I can't see me rushing back to this one though.
Yesterday's Enemy (1959)
All my troubles seemed so far away.
We're still in 1959, ploughing through the films produced by Hammer and watched along with the "House of Hammer" podcast. We've had a few war films recently, but none perhaps as controversial, and forward thinking as this one.
During a struggling campaign in Burma, Captain Langford (Stanley Baker) leads his bedraggled outfit in the taking of a small village from encamped Japanese soldiers. Amongst the Japanese dead is a Colonel, who has a complicated map of the area with him. A Burmese Man (Wolfe Morris) tries to escape with fleeing soldiers but is captured. Langford believes that this man knows what the map shows - though he insists that he doesn't. To get him to talk, Langford tells his Sergeant, Mackenzie (Gordon Jackson), to execute two civilians from the village.
So not just a "War was bad" film - but one where the British Forces are shown as being just as capable of inflicting atrocities as the enemy was. I don't know enough about the sorts of films that were being made at the time, but still today a film attempting to point out moral failings of the British Army in any conflict would be controversial. So, I can only imagine what it was like in 1959. Much of the film rests on whether or not the firing squad will take place, with the division's chaplain, played by Guy Rolfe and a War correspondent, played by Leo McKern as the main dissenting voices. The film does continue on after that though, with the Japanese returning and the British having to make some difficult decisions.
There are some really good performances, from all the actors I've previously mentioned. Representation is better than it has been, in say "The Camp on Blood Island" with both Philip Ahn and Burt Kwouk at least having familial history in the right part of the world to play Japanese soldiers.
Interesting and dramatic, certainly one of the better films I've discovered whilst watching along with this podcast.
I Am a Killer: Friendly Fire (2022)
Season Four Review
"I Am a Killer" is one of the few shows that I do reviews of, where I wish I didn't have to. (I know I don't "have" to - but via my own convoluted mind rules, I do). Mostly this is because it's been the same show, over and over again - though perhaps, for this fourth season, there is a bit of change. To demonstrate that similarity, I'll use the synopsis I wrote for the first season, back in 2021 again here.
Each episode has the same set up. We meet a Death Row inmate who takes us through their recollection of the crime. Not in every case, but in a lot of them, this is used to introduce us to some element of doubt about the case - not that they are guilty, but for example, their overall capacity for understanding the crime, or whether a murder was premeditated. The documentaries then introduce us to various other parties, either law enforcement, prosecutors, defence lawyers and/or family members - who tell their side of the story. The inmate is then interviewed for a second time, when he gets to react to some of the comments played for him. From there, it's generally left up to us as the audience to decide on whether execution would be justified in this case.
So, season four is mostly just more examples of this, but I do start to wonder if the number of inmates with justifiable doubts with their cases has started to run dry because in this season we meet at least two candidates who definitely did their murders and are (in my opinion) just lying about it for publicity or to aid an appeal. I won't say who they are, because I've not wanted to comment on the individual cases previously. The rest of the time it is the sadly all too common cycle of childhood abuse and drug use that leads to the incident.
The production team do a lot of good work to find and interview the right people involved in a case but the formula of the show is all too apparent. Begrudging completionism has dragged me though another series here - and it will drag me through the upcoming fifth season too - but I'd like to be freed myself (ironically).
Journey to the Unknown: Somewhere in a Crowd (1968)
Failure to launch.
I continued my exploration of this late 60's horror anthology series with what is, on the IMDB at least, considered the second episode; "Somewhere In A Crowd".
Television presenter Bill Searle (David Hedison) is at the launching of a new commercial ship, but flies into a panic when he sees a series of faces he recognises, as the camera crew collect B-Roll before the event. He's seen them at accidents before and, whilst he doesn't believe they're causing them, they are always watching. He's unable to stop the accident at the launch, nor a shooting during an interview he's conducting some days later, where he later sees the same faces in the studio audience. He goes to a psychiatrist, who links the appearances to a previous trauma in Bill's life.
As I have before with these anthologies from the 60's and 70's, I'm left wondering whether surprises and twists that seem a bit played out now, felt newer and more surprising 55 years ago. I'll write this review spoiler free, but I will say that I think anyone who watches it now will probably, as I did, correctly predict everything that's going on as soon as the right crumb of information appears. Admittedly one of the specific incidents, the trip to the zoo is all I'll say, did come as a bit of a surprise but the rest you'll see coming.
I didn't recognise any of the actors in it, save for Jane Asher, but I will in the past have seen Hedison as the Dalton-era Felix Leiter. He's fine here, if a little bland. Alan Gibson directs, who did a couple of episodes of "Hammer House of Horror" including one of the best ones "The Silent Scream" with Peter Cushing. They also teamed on "The Satanic Rites of Dracula" that I'll hopefully get around to in my watch alongs with the "House of Hammer" podcast.
Again, this was a decent enough episode that just suffers now because the ideas have been done so many more times.
The Umbrella Academy (2019)
Goodnite, Dr. Death
I've written a review for each season of "The Umbrella Academy" and logged it against the final episode of each run. Now the series is over, I thought it made sense to put something here to sum up my overall feelings.
Adapted from a series of comics by My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way, "The Umbrella Academy" is about a group of children with special powers who are collected to live as a family under the guidance of distant patriarch Sir Reginald Hargreeves (Colm Feore). Twenty years on from their time as a superhero team, the remaining members of the family are reunited by the death of Sir Reginald and the return of long missing family member No 5 (Aiden Gallagher) who has returned from the future with a plan to divert the apocalypse.
Though it's not without its flaws I generally enjoyed this season. It reminded me of times of the recent "Lemony Snicket" series, with a deliberate stylised unrealness to the world that the characters inhabit. Fashions and technology are designed to appear timeless and also to reflect the number of characters that can travel through time. It's often funny, laugh out loud funny at times and the action scenes that occur regularly are usually well done. The music choices are really good too, drawing from a range of sources (and again from different decades to establish that "out of time" feeling).
The visual effects I thought I'd keep separate from both the negatives and the positives as some of them, such as the motion capture performance of Mr Pogo are staggeringly good for television. In fact most of the CGI work is excellent. The practical effects though, particularly the head stuck on a gorilla-ish body for Luther aren't as impressive. I don't know if they lost confidence in a different effect, but this one doesn't really work at all.
After a patchy first season, I thought that the second run of "The Umbrella Academy" was a notable improvement and I'd say that this third run was about par with that, though in retrospect is a bit less consequential than I would have hoped.
I don't think, in retrospect, I'm going to look back on "The Umbrella Academy" as one of my favourite series of all time. If it was more able to maintain the quality of the second season, then perhaps I would have. I don't regret the time investment though as the positives outweighed the negatives.
The Umbrella Academy: End of the Beginning (2024)
Season Four Review
I'd say that, overall, I've felt positive but not unreservedly so about the previous three years of "The Umbrella Academy". So, I'm not unhappy to see the series end here with another run that, again I quite enjoyed - though not unconditionally so.
In this new universe, the Umbrella siblings are further apart than they've ever been before. Living very separate, powerless, lives and rarely seeing each other. Five (Aidan Gallagher) works for the CIA, and is, along with Lila (Ritu Arya), investigating 'The Keepers'; a group of people who can recall aspects of the alternate timelines they lived in. Viktor (Elliot Page) meets Sy Grossman (David Cross) who convinces him that the siblings should reunite to look for his daughter Jennifer (Victoria Sawal) who has been missing since joining "The Keepers'.
One of my more common complaints about shows on Netflix is that they pad out a series, that should be shorter, with unnecessary "fetch quest" style episodes, or repeated plot points. I'd say this time though that this final season of "The Umbrella Academy" could have done with a little more room to breath and felt rushed because of it. Even within that though, I did still feel like the series couldn't really find a way for Luther, Allison and Klaus to contribute in any meaningful way.
I did like the main storyline of the season though, focused as it was on Ben and the idea that the Keepers can remember the bleeding timelines and are looking to find the way back. I really liked the guest stars, Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally and David Cross. I thought the visual effects were reasonably good in a series that unusually has had more success with CGI work than it has with practical effects.
I don't think, in retrospect, I'm going to look back on "The Umbrella Academy" as one of my favourite series of all time. If it was more able to maintain the quality of the second season, then perhaps I would have. I don't regret the time investment though as the positives outweighed the negatives.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)
A bit wet.
I have to say that I didn't particularly like the first "Aquaman" film and my feelings haven't changed as the DC extended universe has slowly withered. This is genuinely the end of that period, and it is very much with a whimper.
Now juggling parenthood with being King of Atlantis, Arthur Curry (Jason Momoa) is surprised when his old foe Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) returns, significantly more powerful than he was during their previous encounter and with a plan to steal the Atlantean supplies of Orichalcum, a fuel that emits high quantities of greenhouse gases. To try and learn about where Manta might be, Curry liberates his brother Orm (Patrick Wilson) from prison, and they form an uneasy alliance against the dangerous foe.
Whilst I thought the first "Aquaman" film was bad, I think that this one is just bland. If this version of Aquaman has always felt like he was emulating the MCU's Thor, with his hard drinking ways and his need to learn humility, that idea is not lessened by having him team up with his formerly villainous brother for this adventure. There's nothing particularly wrong with the film, but everything feels like it's been seen before and done better in other films.
Momoa is fine, in fact without him it would really struggle, the rest of the cast are less impressive. Randall Park does well trying to crowbar as much humour as he can into a scientist that takes way to long to do reach an inevitable conclusion.
Like all the DC films released this year, they've had their moments, but haven't felt essential, due to the changing of the guard and we'll all benefit from time away from these characters.
Time Bandits (2024)
Time I'll never get back.
I posted this review against the last episode of the "Time Bandits" a couple of weeks ago, but now that the confirmation the series is not progressing has come through, I thought I'd rework it a bit and post it here.
I should also say, somehow, I've never seen the original "Time Bandits" film - so don't have any of that as a frame of comparison.
Kevin (Kal-El Tuck) is an eleven-year-old boy, living in leafy suburban Bingley. Whilst his parents do love him, they're very different to him, sharing no interest in a passion for history that leaves him isolated both at home and school. One day, a group of thieves, led by Penelope (Lisa Kudrow) arrive in his bedroom as inside his cupboard is one of a number of portals in time and space that can be opened and utilised. The thieves have stolen a map to these portals from The Supreme Being (Taika Waititi) who wants it returned, but the chart is also wanted by Pure Evil (Jermaine Clement) who sends his best agent after them.
I feel largely the same way about "Time Bandits" as I did about Waititi's last television project "Our Flag Means Death" which is that the setup is right, the characters are good and technically everything is working - then they forgot to put jokes in the script. I mean, even with Sam Bain and Iain Morris involved, there doesn't appear to be even that many attempted jokes in it. It's as if everyone just thought that the 'kid out of time' premise would be enough and left it at that.
Everybody is doing OK performance wise, even if the three main comedic performers (Waititi, Clement and Kudrow) are relying on their delivery style to convey whatever humour just that can generate. Kal-El Tuck is fine as the lead Kevin, which is fortunate as if he was annoying the whole series would likely be unbearable. There are nice cameos from Mark Gatiss, Con O'Neil and Matt King across individual episodes.
As with "Flag" I don't feel like I hated the series - more that it doesn't feel like it fulfils the basic demand of a comedy series, that of "being funny". If there had been a season two I'd have watched it - my stupid brain won't let me stop a series unless it's really awful, but as of right now, I've seen enough.
Batman Returns (1992)
The Cats whiskers.
I love "Batman Returns" but watching it now is tinged with a sadness that the studio would (perhaps understandably) not sacrifice lucrative merchandising money for at least one more spin of Burton's gothic brilliance.
Decades after being abandoned by his parents, and cast into the sewers, The Penguin (Danny DeVito) uses his gang of former circus entertainers to terrorise Gotham and kidnap Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) a wealthy industrialist. Intending to blackmail him, instead Penguin strikes a mutually beneficial deal with Shreck to return to society and even run for mayor. Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) is murdered by Shreck after accidentally discovering another of his criminal schemes. She is revived by stray cats and adopts their persona to become Catwoman and look for revenge. Both villains are initially thwarted by Batman (Michael Keaton) so decide to team up to rid themselves of their enemy.
Despite being surprised about how small the film looks, there is essentially only one exterior set that is used over and over, I do think "Batman Returns" is even better than Burton's first stab at the Caped Crusader. The story is better, with the spiralling plots perfectly balanced so as to not overwhelm each other. The Burton Gotham look is at its most impressive here, with statues in the city precinct and, tall buildings with art deco stylings. Performances are great, from the three named leads but also, as always, from Christopher Walken whose Max Shreck is arguably the films ultimate villain. The story feels more akin to Burton's sensibilities than even the first film, with its dark plot of potential infant drownings, children abandoned in the sewers and sexual frustration.
But it's tinged with sadness as that's it. I'm going to watch them again in the coming weeks too, but "Forever" and "and Robin" in my memory are going to be considerably worse than this and it'll take years - and another visionary filmmaker, to restore Batman to his former glories. Now that they've got their "Beetlejuice" sequel done I'd love Burton and Keaton to reteam for another one, "Batman Beyond" maybe?
Doctor Who: The Stolen Earth (2008)
Wraith of Caan
Wow. Every time I think this fourth season has reached its peak; it finds a new way to top itself. This time with the Avengers-esque, 'Gangs all here' two-part conclusion to the season. These finales often have a habit of having great first episodes, that set an unattainable target for the second half, but this particular episode might be as good as the show has ever been.
Having been alerted to the potential threat by Rose Tyler (Billie Piper), the Doctor (David Tennant) and Donna (Catherine Tate) rush back to Earth and find nothing out of the ordinary. That is until moments later, when the Earth is transported to a new location, leaving the Tardis floating in space. They go to the Shadow Proclamation, who explain that 27 planets are now missing. On Earth Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) and Torchwood; Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen) and Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman) react to what's happened, before they are drawn together by another old friend.
Man, this is a great episode. Really feels like we're heading into the culmination of a particular era of "Doctor Who". That initial high enthusiasm, where the show's success generated two spin-off shows that could eventually feed back into the series here. We know that this is the beginning of the initial goodbyes to both David Tennant and to Russell T Davies - it's funny to write this review in 2024 knowing that they have both recently returned - and the show ends on what was ultimately a fake regeneration but must have been mind-blowing at the time. This episode manages to balance all those characters perfectly. Four assistants, Donna's family, Martha's mum, the Torchwood survivors, Sarah Jane's son and Harriet Jones. And that's just the heroes. The villains too are collection of the Dalek's legends, The Supreme Dalek, a reappearance for Dalek Caan and then a long-awaited return for Davros.
If you want to nitpick, there are a few scientific elements that don't work so well. 27 planets in orbit around each other (even if they're a perfect engine) would also cause chaos with the tides if nothing else. And presumably they also took all the orbital satellites with them too, as mobile communications and the TV still works. It is nitpicking though, as it's very easy to get lost in a tremendous, fun, funny and surprising episode. Can the second half live up to it?
The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)
The Hittie and the sh...
Another film cheerfully watched for the "How Did This Get Made" Podcast. I was bracing myself for some real garbage with this one and, to be fair, that's what I got. Despite its reputation though, I think I've seen films for the podcast that were a lot worse.
Since junior school, Nate (Joel David Moore) has held a romantic torch for classmate Cristabel (Paris Hilton). Following another failed relationship, he decides to track her down, engaging his friend Arno (Greg Wilson) to help. Arno explains that whilst Cristabel has grown up to be a beautiful woman, men are kept away from her by her best friend June (Christine Lakin) who is physically unappealing to the opposite sex. Nate orchestrates a meeting with Cristabel, which goes well but in order to get his date, he'll hate to find someone willing to join them as a suitor for June.
It's important that I get across pretty quickly that this film is awful. So much of the teenage gross out comedy-era, which you could make a reasonable argument came to a decisive end with "The Hottie and The Nottie", is morally reprehensible and this one is no exception. Ugly people deserve scorn and only become acceptable as worthy of love when they undergo massive cosmetic surgery to change themselves seems to be the moral point that the film seems happy to run with. Jealousy and entitlement are seemingly admirable qualities and in the words of Family Guy "It's alright to lie to women, they're not real people like you and me".
The performances are awful, as you might imagine when you look down a cast list of people whose careers never took off. Hilton is not asked to do much and whilst she's not staggeringly awful with it, she brings little to the role. The premise of the film struggles when it comes to June's personality. There's no real explanation why she's keeping men away from Cristobel - we see her eviscerate one man who dares to try, but otherwise she doesn't seem to hate men in general and seems to want to be in a relationship herself.
Its only slight redeeming quality was that I felt there was some awareness of the horribleness from Joel David Moore's leading man and, occasionally, he managed to raise the smallest of laughs with his delivery.
It's scant reward for sitting through what I'll again point out is an awful film, but again - if this is the worst film you've ever seen, consider yourself lucky.
A Single Man (2009)
Ford Focus.
I've never seen "A Single Man" before and was unsure what it was about. I'm glad that I went in with little foreknowledge as I found a film that surprised me, and I enjoyed.
Months after the death of his long-term partner Jim (Matthew Goode) in a car accident, debonair University lecturer George Falconer (Colin Firth) decides that he has been miserable long enough and will end his life. He spends the day getting his affairs in order. He has a meaningful conversation with enthusiastic student Kenny (Nicholas Hoult) and begins to notice again the aspects of beauty in ordinary life. He arranges an evening meal with Charley (Julianne Moore) an old friend who lives nearby. Gradually, George starts to feel again.
Whilst I'd usually describe myself as being all about plot and story, when it comes to appreciation of films, this won me over whilst being largely all about tone and performance. It is the first of, so far, only two movies directed by Tom Ford, but it's got such assurance and craft to it, I'm amazed he can find the enthusiasm to do any of the other aspects of his professional life. Moments, such as playing with the colour saturation to demonstrate his reawakening are really well done.
His master stroke though was in casting. Firth is magnificent - magnetic but subtle. Julianne Moore largely nails both the accent and mannerisms of Charley. An English good time girl who is now divorced and estranged from her daughter - and who is teetering into alcoholism to fight the boredom and loneliness. Though I love Nicholas Hoult in other things, I did struggle a bit with him here though. He contends ably with the accent too, but he just doesn't look... American, there's no clearer explanation I can make, I'm afraid.
Thoughtful and touching. I'll have to make sure I can catch "Nocturnal Animals" as soon as I can.
Rick and Morty: Fear No Mort (2023)
Grand Slam?
Season seven of "Rick and Morty" comes to a conclusion with another pretty solid episode, if perhaps one that's a little cleverer than it is funny.
Having become jaded to fear and surprise after all their adventures, Rick (Ian Cardoni) and Morty (Harry Belden) are told about the ultimate 'fear hole' which ironically is back on Earth, in a Denny's bathroom. They escape fairly quickly and head home, only for a version of Rick to quickly appear, drop off a version of Diane (Kari Wahlgren) with them and die. Finding the timing of this suspicious, they immediately determine that they're still in the hole but, whilst Morty looks to conquer his fear, and escape, Rick is drawn into the only life he can ever have, with his ex-wife.
And so, a season that had much to overcome, but was generally a fairly good - though not top tier run ends with another episode that isn't perhaps top tier but was certainly fairly good. There's a nice cameo from Liev Schreiber as the mysterious man who introduces them to the Fear Hole. The plot was fine, if covering the familiar theme of what is the actual relationship between this Rick and this Morty.
Again, there's no B-Story this run and, baring a scene or two, the rest of the family are barely in it. I do think that one of this season's problems has been the inability to utilise the supporting cast properly and break up the adventures with another story. I don't know why this is the case, as whilst Roiland was a major creative force behind the show, he hasn't been a credited writer since season three.
Having overcome a major hurdle at the start of the season, whilst never matching the heydays of a few seasons ago - that this season is on par with the last couple is quite an achievement. Onwards to season 8.
Sunny: The Dark Manual (2024)
Season One Review
I'm going to review this as if it's the first season of an ongoing show, even though, at the time of writing, there's no indication that "Sunny" will return for a second series. Initially, I quite liked the show, but the longer it ran on, the more my interest waned.
Suzie Sakamoto (Rashida Jones) loses her husband, Masa (Hidetoshi Nishijima) and son, Zen (Fares Belkheir) in a place crash. Whilst still struggling to come to terms with the accident, she is presented with a domestic help robot, by a representative of ImaTech, for whom her husband worked. With rumours circulating that a local politician may have been killed by his robot helper, Suzie tries to get rid of Sunny (voice by Joanna Sotomura) but comes to realise that the robot, may have some extra coding, provided directly by her husband.
Whilst I often quite like shows and films that mix genres, I struggled to maintain a handle on what "Sunny" was actually about, as it drifts from black comedy to Yakuza Thriller, to gleeful absurdist fantasy. I liked it whenever Jones was bickering with her mother-in-law, or even dealing with her sadness in the early episodes but as soon as the Yakuza became involved, I just think that the credibility of the story went with it. Even looking back now (and reading the episode summations again) I still don't really understand the dynamics at play in the show, or how the family fit into the Yakuza storyline. Some of that might be on me, for not working harder to stick with what was happening, but some also must sit with the show for (despite the genre changes) not being interesting enough to keep me focused.
I've said this before but, because of how my brain works, I'd probably keep watching if a second season of the show was made, but as I sit here now - I hope it's not.
Alien: Romulus (2024)
Alien: Sisyphus
I'm struggling with this review, as I don't know quite how passionately I want to get after the points I want to make. I suppose the options when making a sequel are either take a big swing, and then either hit or miss wildly depending on how well you do, or safely retread what we've seen before so it is essentially just "more". I'd favour the former every time, but Romulus is definitely the latter.
On a mining colony on LV_410, a group of young adults, having seen the toll the work took shortening their parents' lives, decide to leave. They've learned of an abandoned Weyland-Yutani ship, in orbit above the planet and plan to break in and steal the statis chambers, then embark on the 9-year journey to Yvaga. On arrival they discover that the ship was, in fact, a scientific research station. Whilst trying to recover fuel for the chambers, they inadvertently awaken the research material; a series of alien organisms, created from a cloned version of an original xenomorph recovered in the wake of the destruction of the USCSS Nostromo.
So, I will start by saying technically the film is very good. The aliens, often practical effects, work really well. The CGI space landscapes, vehicles and ships also look really good. The performances from a young, and largely British, cast are strong - even those who are clearly here only to die in horrible ways.
The trouble is, it's in service of a story that is largely a rehash of the first "Alien" film, with a little of "Aliens" mixed in and, obviously, it's an inferior version of the film than the original was. If you're going to keep making films in this series, they really need a new take, to justify its existence and this does not have one. With the possibly exception of the playing with the gravity in this one, it's very similar to what we've seen before. The most controversial element was attempting to use Ian Holm's likeness for an android, similar to the one he played in Aliens. It never worked for me, and every time I saw it all I could think about was that the effect, for all the effort that went into it, wasn't very convincing. Personally, I'd have thrown all that development money at Michael Fassbender.
Having said all that. I didn't hate "Alien: Romulus" but it's an inessential addition to the series.
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)
Daylight come and we want go home?
All I can really do here is speak my truth and not worry about whether people agree with it or not. As a man who has a nine out of ten review for "Beetlejuice" logged on this website, I can only report that I found this sequel to be bit of (though not totally) a mess.
Following the death of her father, Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) returns to her childhood home, with her stepmother Delia (Catherine O'Hara), boyfriend Rory (Justin Theroux) and daughter Astrid (Jenna Ortega). Lydia, still able to see ghosts, has been having visions of Betelgeuse (Michael Keaton), which only intensifies as she returns to the house. But Betelgeuse has his own problems, related to the return of his vengeful ex-wife Delores (Monica Bellucci) who has the ability to extract the remaining souls of the dead - and make them 'dead dead.'
What I found really interesting was that for years, Burton and Keaton steadfastly refused to engage in a sequel unless the story was right. Then for this to be the one they progressed with, which feels more like a bundle of ideas gaffer taped together than an actual story. There are four main plots, two of which could have been exorcised (pun intended) partially, or even completely without making much of a difference. It feels like they're there only so there's an excuse for particular actors to be in the film. It's also a bit too enamoured with recreating moments from the original, so there are two gags that are slight variations on previous ones and another song and dance possession scene, which is a strong moment, but again, just a remix of the first film.
Almost single handedly Keaton drags the film to being acceptable. They smartly keep his character out of the majority of the film so that when he does appear he's a breath of life, but it's a shake up the film needs all too often and I don't think I found anything anyone else did to be funny.
As you can see from the score, despite how negative this review feels, I wouldn't say I disliked the film overall - but it feels all too close to being the 'cash grabby' sequel we could have had at any point in the last 30 years.
Time Bandits: Fortress of Darkness (2024)
Season One Review
I'm going to review this as "Season One" though at the time of writing there's no confirmation that the series is progressing, nor particularly, do I want it to. I should also say, somehow, I've never seen the original "Time Bandits" film - so do have any of that as a frame of comparison.
Kevin (Kal-El Tuck) is an eleven-year-old boy, living in leafy suburban Bingley. Whilst his parents do love him, they're very different to him, sharing no interesting in a passion for history that leaves him isolated both at home and school. One day, a group of thieves, led by Penelope (Lisa Kudrow) arrive in his bedroom as inside his cupboard is one of a number of portals in time and space that can be opened and utilised. The thieves have stolen a map to these portals from The Supreme Being (Taika Waititi) who wants it returned, but the chart is also wanted by Pure Evil (Jermaine Clement) who sends his best agent after them.
I feel largely the same way about "Time Bandits" as I did about Waititi's last television project "Our Flag Means Death" which is that the set up is right, the characters are good and technically everything is working - then they forgot to put jokes in the script. I mean, even with Sam Bain and Iain Morris involved, there doesn't appear to be even that many attempted jokes in it. It's as if everyone just thought that the 'kid out of time' premise would be enough and left it at that.
Everybody is doing OK performance wise, even if the three main comedic performers (Waititi, Clement and Kudrow) are relying on their delivery style to convey whatever humour it can find. Kal-El Tuck is fine as the lead Kevin, which is fortunate as if he was annoying the whole series would likely be unbearable. There are nice cameos from Mark Gatiss, Con O'Neil and Matt King across individual episodes.
As with "Flag" I don't feel like I hated the series - more that it doesn't feel like it fulfils the basic demand of a comedy series, that of "being funny". If there's a season two I'll watch it - my stupid brain won't let me stop a series unless it's really awful, but as of right now, I've seen enough.
Journey to the Unknown: The New People (1968)
Neighbourhood Watch
It's been a while since I watched a British Horror anthology series, but I do love to do it - hoping that I'll find some hidden gem, though most of the time coming away disappointed. I've done "The Hammer House of Horror", so now have decided to do its predecessor "Journey to the Unknown" whilst they're available on Youtube, starting, naturally with the first episode.
Hank Prentiss (Robert Reed) and his wife Anne (Jennifer Hilary) move to a large house in a seemingly sleepy English village. They're overwhelmed by the welcoming nature of their neighbours, who provide gifts and throw regular parties. They even decide to stay when they discover that the previous owner took his own life in the basement "playroom". Eventually Terry (Adrienne Corri), a divorcee who lives opposite, tries to explain that all in the village is not as it seems.
There's some debate online as to the order that these episodes go in. For the record I'm going to go with the order on IMDB, though I suspect the Wikipedia one is likely to be more accurate, so - as a starting episode to the series, this was reasonably promising. Admittedly it wasn't the most original premise that I've ever seen, and you'll probably guess most of the specifics before they are made clear - but it was about as well done as it could be. Nobody says or does anything particularly unusual, but the sense of foreboding grows and grows and Luther, the defacto leader of the group is a conniving though charming presence. He's played by Patrick Allen, who I was delighted to learn would subsequently use that distinguished voice as the announcer for "Vic Reeves Big Night out".
In all honestly, I doubt I'll remember much about this one in a couple of weeks - but it held my attention for the run time and the performances were good.
The Crow (2024)
Cor-Vidal Sassoon
I don't have a particularly precious relationship with Alex Proyas' beloved 1994 adaptation of "The Crow". I've seen it, I liked it - but I haven't watched it in a couple of decades now. I say this because I want you to know I'm not comparing this version with nostalgia tinted memories, but saying that, in and of itself, it's pretty rubbish.
Eric (Bill Skarsgard) and Shelly (FKA Twigs) meet and fall in love in a rehabilitation Centre. Though Eric had a troubled upbringing, Shelly's issues stem from exposure to Vincent Roeg (Danny Huston) - a crime boss (I think) with a supernatural gift for convincing people to kill or commit suicide at his behest. Roeg's agents eventually catch up with them, killing them both. Eric is offered a chance at revenge though, when Kronos (Sami Bouajila) offers him immortality and the prospect of saving Shelly, if he can dispatch Roeg and his team.
Because there are so few positives, I'll start with the one I can think of. Towards the end, there's a really cool and gory action set piece (essentially the only one in the film) where Eric is like an undead John Wick, utilising his immortality to despatch a building of full of henchmen. If more of the film was like this, it would have been a much better time.
It's not though. It takes an age to establish the relationship between Eric and Shelly - which I sort of understand, as he is going to make some big sacrifices for her - but it goes on way too long and is full of cringe inducing dialogue about love and pain and sacrifice. It feels too harsh to say that either of the leads are bad, but their relationship is oddly unconvincing, perhaps because it's a mix of picture-perfect moments without any domesticity. Plus, we've seen the trailer (and the original film) and know that the film doesn't start in earnest until she's killed.
It feels like the production was a mess, hence there are characters who appear unintroduced, others that serve little purpose other than to die and some that serve no purpose at all. For example, there is a young pianist who Roeg is obsessed with and who ends up following him around - but there is no resolution for this character at all, neither negative nor positive, she just disappears.
Whilst I get that people didn't like the change in look for this Eric, a really good film could have overcome that problem and won people over. The actual film though can't come close to conquering a first act that is two, or perhaps even three times longer than it ought to be.
Doctor Who: Turn Left (2008)
Beetlebum
This really is some run of form leading up to the conclusion of season four. "Turn Left" is somehow both a really compelling standalone episode of the show and a way of setting up the two-part finale that will end this run.
Having momentarily slipped away from the Doctor (David Tennant), Donna (Catherine Tate) is pulled into the rooms of a fortune teller. Instead of the future though, they explore her past, focusing on a moment when she left for the temp job that led to her meeting the Doctor for the first time. Donna is convinced to consider the life not taken, whilst a creature attaches itself to her back. In this alternate history, the Doctor dies in the flood, battling the Racnoss. He's, therefore, not around to thwart the plans of various aliens, culminating in the starship Titanic crashing into Buckingham Palace and the explosion irradiating much of the south of the country.
I haven't always loved Catherine Tate in this role, but she's put through quite a ringer in this season and has risen to challenge performance wise each time. This is a second alternate world for her and so far she's given up her kids in the first one and this one leads to death, destruction, forced relocation and concentration camps. This is another episode designed to give the actor playing the Doctor a bit of a break, and presumably was filmed alongside "Midnight" to save a bit of time in everybodies schedules.
It's the real return for Billie Piper and Rose Tyler, who has been popping up here and there, and the "Bad Wolf" finale is a nice call back to the end of the first season and an expressive entry point to the disappearing stars of the final two episodes of the run.
This excellent streak continues. Can the two part finale possibly keep it up?
Hauru no ugoku shiro (2004)
Castle Keeper?
Never let it be said that I'm not persistent. Historically, I haven't liked any of the Studio Ghibli films that I've seen, but as they are so beloved, I continue to assume that the problem must be me and give them another chance. Was "Howl's Moving Castle" the one to win me over? Spoiler alert - no, it wasn't.
Sophie (Emily Mortimer/Jean Simmons) is cursed by the Witch of the Waste (Lauren Bacall) into the form of an elderly woman. Looking to break the curse, she moves into the castle of Howl (Christian Bale) a Wizard. The castle is both physically moving about the landscape and has magical doors linking it with the nearest large cities. Sophie's country is searching for a missing prince and engaging in a war with a neighbouring land. Suliman (Blythe Danner), the King's sorcerer, wants Howl to join the fight, he sends Sophie as his emissary to her but this has unforeseen consequences.
Testament to my problems with this film, is how long it took me to try and put together that plot summation. I find if very hard to recall what happens in the film, even though I watched it less that three days ago. I remember it's themes, and those themes are noble; War is always bad and the elderly still have value - which is perhaps a more familiar concept to Eastern audiences than to Western ones. The plot of the film though struggled to maintain my interest, particularly once the set up was done.
Within this criticism, I want to stress - as I always do when reviewing Miyazaki's work - that I appreciate that it looks amazing and that there's a monumental amount of work that goes into making it. I love the look of the castle, particularly it's movement, and the later flying vehicles. I've never really liked the character style of these film though and that continues here.
So, this still wasn't the one to win me over to liking Ghibli films. I promise I'll keep trying through.
Batman (1989)
Begins?
You make a list of seminal films in my life and somewhere on that list is Tim Burton's Batman, which I first saw in a cinema, on a family holiday to America. Some 35 years later, and my son has been watching Batman movie clips on Youtube, so, having not seen the film in a while, I took the plunge and he agreed to watch it with me. It was still pretty successful, if perhaps showing its age a little.
Gotham City is struggling with a crime epidemic led by Mob Boss Carl Grissom (Jack Palance) and his enforcer Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson). Whilst on a job to destroy incriminating records at Axis Chemicals, Napier is inadvertently dropped into a vat of chemicals by masked vigilante Batman (Michael Keaton). Surviving the fall, Napier is reborn as "The Joker" with bleached skin and a permanent rictus grin on his face. He begins a murderous rampage on the city whilst simultaneously focusing his attention on Vicky Vale (Kim Basinger) a reporter investigating 'The Batman' and romantically entangled to billionaire Bruce Wayne, Batman's alter ego.
I'm not sure where to start. The performances are really good, even from supporting actors like Robert Wuhl, William Hootkins and Tracey Walter. The main event is the principle three actors though. Keaton is a great Batman and Bruce Wayne, an oddball, but that works when you consider that he has the psyche to become a vigilante. Basinger is magnetic and perfectly cast as the woman that everyone falls immediately in love with. Nicholson though is revelatory and establishes the idea that "The Joker" is one of those roles that serious actors should have a take on.
Despite the films use of animation and miniatures, which is become more obvious as time has passed, I like Burton's Gotham City. 40's inspired, with retro hats and cars, but with the begins of the art deco stylisation that would continue until Christopher Nolan's films.
It's a really good story though probably the best that these first four Batman films have - though whether I think it is actually the best will be determined when we watch "Batman Returns" in a week or two. This though remains a great film.
Rick and Morty: Mort: Ragnarick (2023)
Harry and the endertimes
After last weeks diversion we're back with the titular characters for the penultimate episode of the season. Another episode I'd put in the 'reasonable' bracket though away from the "top tier".
Having killed and revived Jerry (Chris Parnell) several times, Rick (Ian Cardoni) proves the existence of an afterlife, furthermore, that this afterlife is an untapped infinite energy supply. Favouring Valhalla over heaven, Rick choses to die in battle, with Bigfoot (Maurice LaMarche). He wins over the Vikings and creates a tool to send the energy home. Reborn in a clone body, he discovers that things have gone awry in his absence.
It's hard to really find much more to say about this one, other than it was alright. Again, there's no B-Story and next to nothing for the family to do. I do wonder if Sarah Chalke was away filming something for most of the recording time, as despite their being two version of Beth at the moment, she can't have had ten lines in the whole series. The story feels relatively familiar, but it does get funnier in the second half, as Bigfoot becomes more of an active character.
Fine, if perhaps a bit uninspired.
Ten Seconds to Hell (1959)
Super Bomberman
Another film watched for the "House of Hammer" podcast, we again eschew traditional horror for a tense thriller set in what is, for British and American audiences, an unusual location.
After World War 2, six solders, experts in disarming ordnance, return to Berlin and take on a dangerous job of disposing of unexploded bombs. As the job is very dangerous, it is well paid. The six decide to engage in a Tontine, putting some of their wages into a collective and splitting it between those still alive in 3 months' time. An antagonistic relationship between two of the soldiers, Karl Wirtz (Jeff Chandler) and Eric Koertner (Jack Palance) threatens to boil over as the deadline looms and they vie for the affections of their landlady, Margot Hoefler (Martine Carol).
Generally, I thought this one was pretty good. The performances are really good - I haven't seen much of Palance's work as a younger man but he's quite intense here and an excellent brooding hero against Chandler's brash and fatalistic Eric. The other four members of the team are a bit less distinctive and, when they do start to die, it's tough to remember who was who. Richard Wattis, already a Hammer veteran, returns in this as the British major recruiting the men to undertake the work.
We're not asked to consider the state of Germany after the war very often, but this goes some way to showing the circumstances for normal men and women, as Berlin began to rebuild.
The film looks really good, which makes sense as the cinematography is by 8-time Oscar nominee Ernest Laszlo and it's directed by "Dirty Dozen" helmer Robert Aldrich. There's a lot of tension seeped into the actual scenes of bomb disposal, which apparently shows the real techniques used at the time. They are cranked up by either cutting the soundtrack altogether during those moments or using a slowly building tonal tune.
I don't think it's quite in the "underappreciated gem" category, but I as far as movies I've watched for this podcast goes, this was one of the better ones.
Dead Boy Detectives (2024)
Taken before it's time.
I wrote this review a few weeks back, when I finished the season - but now that the show has been cancelled I thought I'd rework it slightly and post it here.
I liked Netflix's adaptation of Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" and that was enough for me to overcome general distaste with the rather twee title and give this series a chance. I'm glad I did as, whilst not quite matching up to the main event, this was pretty good stuff.
Two ghosts, Edwin (George Rexstrew) and Charles (Jayden Revri) manage to successfully, though not entirely, exorcise a demon from Crystal Palace (Kassius Nelson). Crystal has lost all her memories but has gained a psychic power to 'read' items and people. Together the three travel to Washington, to investigate the disappearance of a young girl, which puts them at odds with a witch, Esther Finch (Jenn Lyon). Their investigation methods also lead to them popping up on the afterlife's radar and Night Nurse (Ruth Connell) begins an investigation.
Whilst the series name is not particularly promising, proposing a whimsy that doesn't really match the series often dark tone I did end up liking the series. It helps that the main cast quickly overcome the potential clichés of their roles and settle into being a likable team. Jenn Lyon makes Esther Finch a fun, but clearly vile, big bad for the season. The first episode is a bit of a muddle, with too much happening but it settles down after that into a plot that's similar to the sort of dark Y-A fiction that's popular on Netflix, like "Wednesday" for example. Unlike that show though, "Dead Boy Detectives" is a little harder, in terms of the violence sure but certainly with the swearing.
You never quite know which way Netflix is going to go with a renewal, but it does feel like there's other stories that could be told in this world and that's without crossing over into "The Sandman" any more than they have already. I'd certainly have liked more.