Originality

Jesus might theoretically love this article

The Jee Man Himself has shown, in His infinite wisdom, that He is the ultimate purveyor of all things infamous, trite, and generally overused. He has yet to personally review this article and give it His blessing. Seriously, why would he? He's got bigger fish to fry.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Originality.

For those obsessed with experts, Uncyclopedia has an article about: Originality.

Self-portrait of Originality

“I had sex with Originality. I'm a homosexual, you see. Naturally, the sex in question was gay.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Originality

Originality was a homosexual created by Oprah and George W. Bush in order to destroy Chuck Norris.

Early Life[edit]

Originality's iconic brand

Soon after his parents (Oprah and George W. Bush) left him in the woods, Originality decided to travel the world. In the world Originality soon met Oscar Wilde, and the two formed a long lasting relationship, being homosexuals. In 1997 Originality guest stared on Sesame Street with C3-PO and R2-D2, where, dressed as Luke Skywalker, he killed Elmo with a lightsaber. After this, Firefly was canceled in place of more insect based shows on Fox.

Originality then became a follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In his years as a pastafarian, Originality met Peter Griffin and they got married and had three children, Jean-Luc Picard, Quentin Tarantino and Joey Tribbiani, who would later team up to become the power rangers. Peter Griffin left Originality when Originality's Kitten Huffing habit got out of hand.

Devastated, Originality managed to clean himself up and had a sex-change operation to become Martha Stewart. As Martha, originality managed to become President of the United States. Originality was then shot by Dick Cheney and nearly died of AIDS. During his long and painful recuperation, Originality created Aragorn to entertain him, but Aragorn ran away and became Winston Churchill.

Originality was then killed by Stephen Colbert but he came back to life when he heard that Mark Twain had called him a faggot.

All your base are belong to Originality[edit]

In A.D. 2101, war was beginning. It was ended quickly and peacefully when French president Surrenderer T. Surrenderson declared, "I for one, welcome our new CATS overlords. But does it run linux?".

For Originality the occupation was a time of quiet self reflection. He spent most of his time writing and thinking. When the occupation finally ended and Earth was liberated, Originality was finally free to publish his writings. His most notable works include:

What if all the planets are really just the atoms of some bigger Universe?
Maybe I'm the only person that really exists, and everybody else is just a figment of my imagination.
Believing in God is stupid, why would you believe all this weird crap just because some book says so?
Maybe what you see as red is what I see as blue, but we just happen to call it red, so we'll never find out. Ever think about that?
What if, like, we're all the same person, or something. You know?

After the war ended Originality flew to Europe (and, boy were his arms tired). In Europe he held many jobs in many countries. He worked in Ireland as a bigoted priest, in the Netherlands as a crackwhore, in Italy as a corrupt politician and an improbably buff raven haired and passionate chef and in England as tea drinking, bowler-hat-wearing gentleman of undefined occupation.

The demise of Originality[edit]

It is widely believed that Norris selected the "roundhouse kick" technique due to the unpredictability of this little-known martial-arts maneuver.

Returning from Europe to discover his origins, Originality finally met his creators (Oprah and George W. Bush). He learned of his true purpose decided to seek out Chuck Norris, and fulfill his destiny.

In 2037, Originality, after searching for nearly a decade, Originality found Chuck Norris and confronted him. However, Chuck Norris killed Originality with a roundhouse kick to the head.

Less Cowbell[edit]

How original!

Classical absurdist interpretation of Originality[edit]

Originality originality? Originality!

"Originality Originality Originality"

-Originality Originality Originality Originality Originality Originality

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Originality Originality(Originality Originality Originality):

Originality Originality[edit]

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Originality Originalyt Originality

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Originality Originality Originality 
  - Originality Originality 
  - Originality Originality

Originality Originality Originality Originality Originality Originality Originality Originality Originality

Math[edit]

Originality can be defined mathematically as: ${\sqrt {Ori+gin+ality}}$

AAAAAAAAA[edit]

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People that have met Originality[edit]

Did You Know?[edit]

... that Originality's Momma is so fat, she fell in love and broke it?
... that Originality is a homosexual?
- ... that so are you?
  - ... and your mother?
... that here's looking at you, Originality?
... Very few people bother to read uncyclopedia due to its largely random and irrelevant imformation
... Originality is actually Homer Simpson?
... that you're my hero, Originality?
... that Originality is people!
... that Originality has two Cows?
... that Originality has been eaten by a Grue?
... that it's not that important to be original; after all, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Quotes[edit]

“Please.”
~ Originality on taking his wife