Count Jim Moriarty

Count Jim Moriarty (also called Count Jim Moriarty of the House of Roland^[1]) is a character from the 1950s BBC Radio comedy The Goon Show. He was voiced by Spike Milligan. In the episode "The Macreekie Rising of '74", Harry Secombe filled-in for the role in Milligan's absence.

Moriarty is an impoverished member of the French aristocracy who has turned to crime to support his lifestyle. Despite having carried out many high-paying cons and robberies during the series, he and his criminal counterpart Hercules Grytpype-Thynne always appear to be permanently destitute. Although his surname is pronounced (/ˌmɔːriˈɑːrti/ MOR-ee-AR-tee), Grytpype-Thynne would occasionally pronounce it /məˈraɪ.ərti/ mə-RY-ər-tee.

Over the years, Moriarty changed from a suave, debonair and efficient French criminal mastermind and confidence trickster into a cringing sidekick of Grytpype-Thynne, who is often disparaging of his manic behaviour, referring to him as "you steaming French nit", "my fast disintegrating friend", or "you crutty French schlapper". Moriarty's deterioration was accompanied by a change in the character's voice, becoming higher in register and losing its smooth diction as the series progressed.

With his thick faux-French accent, he is often found scavenging in dustbins looking for food and uttering nonsensical, half-French curses such as "Sapristi nabolas!", "Sapristi nyuckoes!", or "Sapristi bombpetts!" (incorporating an old-fashioned French expletive that meant originally "by the body of Christ") and "Sacre Fred!" (a Milligan coinage from Sacrebleu) in the episode "Lurgi Strikes Britain".

Grytpype often introduces him ("and I quote from his death certificate") with a middle name such as "Thighs", "Knees", "Kidney Wiper", etc., along with an appropriate sound effect (e.g. rattling bones, swannee whistle) or Moriarty's catch-phrase "Oooowwwwww", and descriptions of his prowess in various fields:

• "Who has played the male lead in over 50 French postcards"
• "Minister Without Underpants to the Principality of Monte Carlo"
• "Champion barbed-wire hurdler until his tragic accident"
• "Gypsy Saxophonist to the House of Romanoff"
• "Schlapper Royal and noted amateur postman"
• "Husband extraordinary by appointment to the House of Rita Hayworth"

There is also some suggestion that the character is a parody of the Sherlock Holmes villain, Professor Moriarty. In The Hound of the Baskervilles According to Spike Milligan, a preface by Milligan explains that Sherlock "did not stay dead for long", and after chasing him up a mountain did in fact kill Professor Moriarty, but he "later became a character in The Goon Show".