Grrl Power #841 – The ultimate shopping list
Three hundred billion… over ten years, in case you were wondering. The details might come up on a future page, but in case they don’t, I don’t want you guys thinking Deus is trying to grab half the US’s annual defense spending. That would just be greedy.
The “Hung Like a Horse” super soda is the easy joke, but I’m sure most women would be much more interested in the “Makes you Last Exactly as Long as I do Because I’m Tired of Being with 8 Pump Chumps, but Also it’s Kind of Worse When He Gets His Second Wind and 45 Minutes is Seriously Too Much – I mean, Chafing is Never Good but Especially in Certain Places… Well, You Get it.”
Also that wouldn’t fit on the vending machine.
I’m not sure what it says about me that when I was trying to come up with a single comic panel that showed “customizable super powers” my first thought was a vending machine full of perverted shit. I could have spoofed the Captain America zero to hero sarcophagus, or someone looking over a selection of “super” spiders in vials, or someone standing next to a shelf of chemicals with a big tesla coil descending from the ceiling, but no. I went with the Pervert’s Delight Vending Machine.
I don’t think I quite got panel 6 right, but it’s close. The expression is supposed to conjure the sound of Marge Simpson doing one of those long, low grousing mumbles of hers. That or you’re supposed to guess Max is thinking “I will beat the smug right off your giant face.”
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Huh so that’s where all the Alari souls went to after she freed them.
This made me laugh so damn hard, you have no idea!
ooooooh, that would be damned clever; inhabiting humans and giving them powers. I think you figured it out, spoiler alert!
I wonder if Alari in human bodies would even be considered “super powered individuals”…I guess it depends on how much power the souls provide to the bodies, and if we consider aliens puppeteering human corpses as super powers. Since super powers generally means super human, especially since we are talking about human bodies, it begs the question about whether “standard alien powers” would be considered super human or some other genre of powers. Can’t help but think of “Racial abilities” from Skyrim. Where an Orc that is hulking out isn’t considered a “super Orc”, merely using his common ability.
Of course they would be super powered individuals. It would just be a different origin for the powers than the various other supers. “Supernatural Posession (Magic)” as opposed to “Alien Gadgets (Technology) (Sydney)”, “Alien Substance exposure (Science) (Maxima)” “Natural Super (Mutant) (Varia, Dabbler)” “Highly Trained (Normal) (Math)” and so on.
Except, that’s not what happened: Sci-pina has powers in her new body, because she inhabited a dead Super (Scorpina already had powers)
But, Sciona has her magic powers in her new body because she learned those on her own. Any alien wizards could easily do the same and pretend to be supers.
Have we seen her using her old powers while in her new body?
Yes, I’d say so. She brought back some allies, and healed the body she took over.
“pity the gelth”
We’re talking about her boobs right?
If a private entity actually got a hold of the ability to customize superpowers, that vending machine would probably be first on the list. I mean, sex sells and you’d need to recoup the research costs ASAP before your product gets banned in the majority of the world. (And then use that money to ensure that you can corner the now even more lucrative black market.)
…I mean, because it wouldn’t have obvious combat advantages or force the price of superpowered labor through the floor, into the cellar, and then straight down through several layers of bedrock. At least not in the more obvious sectors. *cough*
For Lolara to get up in Maxie’s face like that Max had to know she was being threatened… even if it was in an alien language… I think since the only other Alari she’d met was Sciona, the much better line in that last panel would have been delivered in a tone just as threatening… and instead of “Hi, we haven’t met.” It should have been, “Hi, Haven’t we met?” in the most threatening tone Max could muster… followed by a nearly bone crushing handshake if Lolara was stupid enough to shake…
Also remember that basically nothing is actually a threat to her. It’s kinda funny that she can blatantly… Not care.
Also if I remember right from what we been told over the course of the story, there are only 4 supers we know that could even put up a fight against her. 2 are on the team, 1 is apperently dead and the last is in jail.
pot jail.
The best kind of jail.
Not true, it just takes a lot to hurt Maxima. Pretty sure Vehemence would have seriously injured or killed Maxima if their fight had continued.
Basically, not just nothing.
Yes, some high level superpowered individuals could potentionally be able to form a threat to her, but of such people only exist a handfull on the entire world and at least three of them’ve been neutralised by her and her allies.
Another point is that she has these allies that saved her and so they too add to her feeling of safety.
Actually, if their fight had continued, Vehemence would probably have been atomized. She was trying to take him down non-lethally. Remember how easily she vaped his arm.
Well, sure, but while he had her in the choke hold she had to divert all her juice to defense to survive it, so she had nothing left to blast him with. She only got back into a position to blast him because her allies got her out of that hold.
Also, the blasting seems to take a moment’s concentration, and he was too fast to give her a moment once he knew he had to keep her busy.
The rest of the team provides a distraction.
Maxima vaporizes head.
FATALITY!
That High Velocity Round to his eye by Peggy says otherwise.
Nah, Maxima doesn’t need to threaten anyone, even if they don’t know who she is, and it would just come off as expected from an Alari since they appear to be a culture of bullies. Being calm and polite, on the other hand, is exactly the response Lolara was not epxecting and visibly set her back, especially now that she has to look up to Maxima.
I think this meeting is going to shift gears in Maxima’s favor now. ;)
That frame of her popping up next to Max reminded me of One Punch Man for some reason. The episode where he slaps the mosquito queen and splatters her across several buildings. I just imagined Max doing that.
Girl:”Oh, I’m afraid you are sadly mistaken if you thought these were for you.”
Girl: *Chugs Supa-Pop*
A hard sell like this makes me think this information wants to be free.
could see that sort of thing happening often with some people.
Or you know the: “Oh, it seems like I was mistaken, and it doesn’t fit. Perhaps learning the appropriate external stimulation might change that?”
If the “hung like a horse” power works for chicks I’m totally all in, that would be awesome for a day.
Oh look, the power dynamic incarnate.
RE: “Makes you Last Exactly as Long as I do Because I’m Tired of Being with 8 Pump Chumps, but Also it’s Kind of Worse When He Gets His Second Wind and 45 Minutes is Seriously Too Much – I mean, Chafing is Never Good but Especially in Certain Places… Well, You Get it.”
This is fine, but what women really want is vibrating fingers :P
I can do that. It only works with one arm and is super exhausting, but it’s useful when I want more precision than a standard tool provides.
I’m also long enough that I only actually fit about halfway in when my wife and I have intercourse.
Eight inch tongue and the ability to breathe through your ears.
I feel like Deus is soon to have a minion abandon his team.
*Lorlara looks questioningly at Deus*
Deus:
Lorlara:
*Max arches an eyebrow, clearly not understanding a word*
D: *smiles*
L:
D:
L:
D:
L:
D:
L: *salutes*
*turns back to Max, a sweet smile blooming on her lips, offers hand*
*sweetly*
D: Max, this is my assistant, Lorlara. She is… very pleased to meet you.
*sigh* Well, THAT didn’t work. I guess it interprets the > and < symbols as tags. That makes it hard to follow DaveB’s convention in the comic… And since I can’t EDIT…
*Lorlara looks questioningly at Deus*
Deus: (She’s offering her hand to you in… [Alar doesn’t have a word for ‘friend’] non-hostility.)
Lorlara: (Really? Is she surrendering? She doesn’t look cowed… is it a challenge of some sort?)
*Max arches an eyebrow, clearly not understanding a word*
D: *smiles* (You could look at it that way, yes. She is… challenging you to a… contest of non-hostility. The first of you to act, or even speak, in violence, will lose.)
L: (And, the hand…?)
D: (Is a demonstration that she carries no weapon…)
L: (An indication that she does not FEAR me – an insult! I will-)
D: (Careful… remember the rule…)
L: (- Gnrr! And to lose this game…?)
D: (Deeply shaming. To yourself… and our house.)
L: *salutes* (I WILL NOT FAIL YOU, MY LORD!)
*turns back to Max, a sweet smile blooming on her lips, offers hand*
*sweetly* (Treacherous she-devil! I, too, do not fear your power, for it is naught against the power of Lord Deus! I will defeat you soundly at this new game, and bring honor to my house, and defeat and shame to yours!)
D: Max, this is my assistant, Lorlara. She is… very pleased to meet you.
+1
What the comments pages need is:
1) The ability for commenters to edit and delete their posts.
2a) Upvote and downvote counters. (No more than one vote per reader.)
2b) And/Or rating stars. 0-5. 0 stars counts as disapproval.
Deanatay: *****
Unfortunately, it’s WordPress. It can be done, but you need an intense skill-set.
I’m not knocking WordPress, it does many things brilliantly. Unfortunately, comments and forums are not in the list.
Problem is, doing that here now, could delete all comments, which is something DaveB doesn’t want to risk
Working from the common custom of Earth scientists, the “principle of mediocrity”, we can be reasonably sure that any culture which has no room for friendship is fairly well doomed to impotence everywhere.
There are indeed many tales and stories of impermeably brutal cultures taking over vast tracts of territory. But one thing always sticks in my mind: every leader/boss wants two things from his/her/its henchbeings/subjects. Truth and Loyalty.
So why would a henchbeing want to give loyalty to a boss which treats him as garbage? Or even tell the truth? The only way you as the Count of Calamity can ensure those ahhhh… virtues(!) is to be the only employer on the planet. And how do you intend being that if your minions do not trust you and cannot see a good reason to stick with you rather than go over to a possibly more appreciative boss? Who might be in the mood for a small social experiment?
If you have no room for friendship, you have no civilisation.
Sciona is not your average Alar. For certain the practice of bloodmancy is… at least heard of in that empire, so the plebeians have at least “small” magic. And the Alar have the science to preserve personalities in an electronic bottle, which indicates good hard science in the general school curriculum.
It is possible that Lorlara is a member of the patrician class, but her behaviour to date indicates plebeian behaviour in a field above her accustomed — pre-Deus — pay-grade, thus a certain amount of social climbing. I do hope she gets to be used as something more than comic relief.
This is my regular reminder that for the vast majority of the roman empire, patrician and plebeian were distinctions that meant very little, roman leadership was made up of a number of each, and for the period where the distinction actually did matter, we know much less, since a bunch of gauls came and burned rome down once, leaving a hard dropoff of early roman sources.
The word people want to use when they use plebeian is, probably, proletariat, which is the lowest census class (voting classes) of roman citizen, though Marx’s use of the word has taken over the historic use, context would make clear its use in the roman term.
Quite true. However, despite any reverse disparity in wealth, there were certain things plebeians simply could not do, if only by (enforced) custom. We should also note that plebeians were commonly involved as clients to patrician patronage via the clientela system.
I did not want to use the word “proletariat” as I did not — until today — fully understand the nuances. I thank you for drawing it to my attention, and I have just researched it. I still don’t want to use it here.
Having said all that, I would not want to imply that the Alari use anything more than a passing resemblance to Roman customs in their social organisation. Only that Lorlara (if indeed of high social class) is a little out of her depth, possibly this is the first time she has had to actually earn a crust.
Eh, an absence of friendship doesn’t mean there aren’t other instincts that would maintain a rigid and stable social hierarchy. You should read C.J. Cherryh’s Foreigner series, which is built around a (very human-appearing) species that doesn’t feel friendship or love. They do have a concept of loyalty, though, and a very rigid social hierarchy, just based on different instincts than humans have.
Ok, that is awesome.
In addition to shame very probably incineration
Hmm…what kind of superpowers would help make someone a Paizuri Queen? Nothing in Superman’s classic kit seems to fit the bill, aside from the super-durability to not have bruises afterwards.
Maybe not Superman’s, but possibly Power Girl’s?
The Most Common one. :)
It helps to know what ‘Paizuri’ means
See here at the Urban Dictionary :)
Already knew what it meant, thanks
And the ‘Urban Dictionary’ is worse than Wikipedia (not one image of Keith or Karl)
Nice reference to Xi Jinping with Pooh bear.
Why is pooh bear Xi Jinping reference? Winnie the Pooh has been banned in China, so doesn’t seem like the best symbol for China?
I looked it up – I see, it is because of the comparison to him, specifically. Yeah he wasn’t super happy about that one. lol – I knew Winnie the Pooh was no longer allowed there, technically, but was blanking out on why.
Because Xi Jinping looks like Winnie the Pooh and people were making fun of him because of that.
So he banned Winnie the Pooh in China. Because that’s the sort of thing that happens in totalitarian regimes. :)
South Park had a whole show about it called ‘Band in China.’
Y’all are gonna crucify me for being pedantic but the Japanese on that vending machine actually says Supper Pop lol (「サッパー」 is “sappā” but 「スーパー」would be “sūpā”)
small detail though
*Rolls in cross on a Dolly*
Delivery for a …Doctor Per?
Well that does it then. The comic is forever ruined. It’s been a great run!
*runs away sobbing*
:)
um?! are you sure that’s what you meant to say? that SHE wants to be “hung like a horse”?? because that’s clearly what she’s pointing at for him to buy…
Don’t judge.
I think she’s pushing the button after he swiped his card so that it’s what he gets instead of whatever he was going to go for.
Yes, she wants him to be hung like a horse, and then demonstrate it on her
The selevtion button is on the right. She’s letting him know what she wants him to grab
Dave is pretty good at some subtle details…..so with matching ears….is Maxima’s geode alien enhancement to her super powers going to have Alari origins?
Naw, because Maxima’s way stronger than an Alari… unless she’s some lost kind of alpha Alari?
It’s a total guess, but my money is still on either a Nth or Demonic symbiote. Possibly an offshoot of this creature’s pantheon: https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-177-intergalactic-baggage/
Then again, Dabbler seemed pretty familiar with that thing and shrugged it off. She knows more than we do?
I really hope Deus goes away for a long time soon. I’m so tired of him.
Imho Deus is the Trump of this comic. From an European perspective, both Deus and Trump are just very bad villains. Selfish and stupid.
In fairness, both are good at marketing themselves.
The difference is that Deus actually supplies what the marketing promises, rather than pretending afterwards that he never, ever promised it, that it’s just fake news if you remind him.
I love the Winnie the Poo reference so much. John Oliver did a whole bit on how China banned him because people made fun of their premiere using his name, seeing that ref here is just delicious.
Yes, John Oliver should be banned… from Earth
If Musky-Boy needs a test pilot for his planned Martian Colonisation, use Oliver (both him and his brother Jamie)
John and Jamie, really? Which John?
There is more than one of them? :scared:
The only Jamie I know of thinks he can cook, but I can’t see a brother.
There are several Johns, and the most likely one thinks he’s funny, but the parents are different.
Thought you meant there was more than one John Oliver, the reporter twat who thinks he is funny and clever (and probably banned from ever going back to the UK)
Them being related was a joke: a play on them both being British, and both having the same last name
Brothers in shame?
Is it weird I really wanna know what the German version of the vending machine has?
I’m German, and I really want to know, too. However, since most of Dave’s jokes about Germany had something to do with the Nazis, I am fairly certain that whatever he has in mind would be entirely legal in any country BUT Germany. (Like doing the Nazi greeting is legal everywhere these days except for Germany.)
The german vending machine offers the ability to manifest toilet paper.
• Teleport to Mallorca (El Arenal, not Magaluf)
• Become invisible to speeding cameras
• Make your soccer team win
• Find a good parking spot
I know that that’s two car related ones. You know, typical German.
I am sooo waiting for panel ten. :-) :-) :-)
Max’s hand is too high in that final panel to be offering a handshake, though I realize if it was at the proper height for one, it wouldn’t be in the panel at all. Such a pain to try and get things to fit within a panel while also appearing natural. ^^
I guess Grrl Power is going to be banned in China from now on. The communists get a bit touchy about depicting their leader as Winnie the Pooh.
I had to ask the interweb what paizuri means. Probably that is commendable.
サッパー ポップ would be: Sappa~ poppu
Japanese would probably use スーパー suupa~ for super.
And ソーダ sooda is a more popular word for fizzy drinks
The real reason for the increase in supers is obvious. Deus stole the formula for Chemical X from Professor Utonium.
( I think he experimented with the ‘Mojo’ version on Lorlara)
One of the German “superpowes from a can” just /has/ to be: jokes.
Aaaand Maxima could obliterate the entire country and its supers and its military in one afternoon.
With Sydney’s help they could probably get it down to an hour or less if they didn’t care how much of a glassy crater was left.
Of course that is the other reason to have a civilian population: human shields. Almost every tyrant in the world puts their most tempting targets next to civilians to discourage air strikes. Of course if someone adopts the WW2 strategic bombing philosophy again, that won’t give them even a second’s pause.
That is a bit optimistic
We already know, from several observations that Maxima is not invulnerable. We have also from hearsay (her own though) that she can be injured. She was in a hospital when she met Peggy.
Maxima can maximise only one of her attributes. If she maximises her defense she is not that much stronger or faster than a baseline human. In the parkinglot fight she was forced entirely on the defense and had to be rescued by the rest of the team.
A sniper might hit her from distance before she is aware that she needs defense and is focussing on offense. A teleporter might leave a shaped charge on her set to detonate in 0.1 seconds. And you don’t use a massive explosion against a strong defense. You pick a penetrating charge. Focus a lot of power on the tiniest area possible.
Sydney has a similar limitation and more vulnerabilities. We have seen that her shield is not impenetrable and she can not always have it active. Flying, shielding and pew pewing at the same time is impossible for her, so in order to fight back she has to drop either the flying or the shielding. The first leaves her predictable (and she is not immune to inertia), the second leaves her vulnerable. She was lucky on the alari homeworld that only a pebble got caught inside her bubble and not, say, an incendiary grenade.
There is also the fact that Maxima can only be at one place at a time. Galtyn has access to at least one teleporter with a far greater range than Sydney or Harem, and who can bring cargo with him like (many) other supers. If the USA declares war on Galtyn, and assuming the USA military can still command Maxima, all Deus has to do is send Vector with a couple of the nastier supers to the USA and force Maxima to stay at home trying to hunt them down before they nerve gas the white house or something like that.
This gives Deus the time to find some heavy duty alientech, clarktech or magical weaponry capable of putting a serious dent in Maxima.
Of course Deus is too smart (in his psychopath way) to set himself on a collision course with the USA army. He knows where the line is and toes it, even if it is from the wrong side.
I think you’re exaggerating how weak she is with another attribute maxed out, but, yes, she’s not totally invulnerable. Remember at the restaurant fight, “Shebang”‘s bolo actually hurt her, and it was NOT “Shebang”‘s biggest bang.
It is of course hard to determine what exactly Maxima is capable of since it is a) classified and b) determined byh the rule of plot (in contrast to Sydney whose power is mostly determined by the rule of cool)
However, I would point out that when Vehemence had Maxima pinned down and forced her to shift all her power to defense, she was unable to dislodge him. That suggests that (for plot reasons anyway) unassisted by her superpower she is about as strong as a baseline woman of her size and fitness.
But … that can change at any time when Dave clarifies in the comic what Maxima’s baseline abilities are. If that ever comes up and if he wants to hem himself in to that degree :)
“I’ll buy myself Hung Like a Horse if you let me buy you Paizuri Queen!”
Ick. I’d stick to the vending machine free ‘A team’ instead.
All I can think of for the last 3 pages is “Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste.” and “Pleased to meet you, won’t you guess my name? But what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game.”
Appropriate song
It’s easy to dunk on Deus apparently cosplaying his vague idea of what a clever businessman lookslike, but. . .trusted? The guy who acts so deliberately like a shady Lex Luthor type evil tycoon it looks like he wants to distract people from some actual evil overlord’s behind the scenes moves, wants to be able to trust Max? How about putting this proposal in writing to begin with?
Proposal? Gee, let them date for a while and get to know each other. He hasn’t even met her parents yet.
Wait, were talking about something else?
What about showing that he have something to trade?
Or even just, what about ‘saying’ that he have something to trade? Because at the moment what he said amount to “There ‘could’ be a way to make supers and I ‘could’ know what it is and I ‘could’ tell you if you give me 300.000.000.000 $”
Maxima’s about to flirt with Deus’ assistant.
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My sincere condolences and sympathies to those washed out of the Tittabawassee River area in Michigan.
I only just learned about it on the blancolirio channel
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“jiggle physics” sounds like dead or alive game
“dead” == playing with tea-bags in water;
“alive” == measuring movement of cantilevered gelatinous masses.
I think the term you are looking for would be “Sympathetic Endurance”
Ah, I am looking only at Lorlala’s eyes yes that. THat is where I am looking…
In your defense, perverted shit would almost certainly be the largest and most lucrative market for commerical superpowers.
Of course it’s Japan.