• Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    ★½

    I spent a month or two watching this movie on repeat during a major depressive episode in my teen years. +1 star for the quirky arcade style graphics and music. Otherwise, I hate the characters, the story, the unwavering popularity, and the way that I have no problem with watching it again any time that someone shows interest in seeing it with me.

  • Surf's Up

    Surf's Up

    ★★★★★

    This movie makes me feel good. I probably saw it once or twice as a child, but it wasn't until years later that I would find that despite being an animated children's film it is an enjoyable experience through and through. Whether it be stone cold sober or on the most drugs I have ever been on in my life, I simply cannot find things about this movie I dislike. I don't care if you disagree. This movie comes the closest to convincing me that industrial society and furthermore capitalism was worth it.

  • Chef

    Chef

    ★★★★

    I genuinely like this movie

  • High Fidelity

    High Fidelity

    ★★★★

    he just like me fr

  • Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack

    Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack

    ★★★½

    There's so much going on in this movie, but even in 240p it FUCKS. Truly the best level of cheese. I particularly like the part where Godzilla destroys a hospital for no reason.

  • Good Time

    Good Time

    ★★★★½

    This film is a wonderful display of man's clawing and scratching, reaching for something so desperately and risking everything to do it. It really doesn't stop: it feels like every action is perfectly improvised in response to the chaos and non workings of every plan and foreseeable outcome in a wave of overstimulation paired with a soundtrack that sounds like it was written by a paranoid schizophrenic crack dealer.

  • The Florida Project

    The Florida Project

    ★★★

    I love Willem Dafoe as Bobby- he's a real one fr.

  • Taxi Driver

    Taxi Driver

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This gritty masterpiece showcasing the darkness of man and the horrors of modern society was a really enjoyable piece of film. What I really like is that he's just like me: I'm one infatuation and rejection away from committing triple homicide and shaving my head. Only thing I wasn't into was how he describes a pussy. What's up with that?

  • Brokeback Mountain

    Brokeback Mountain

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    You'd think being old timey gay cowboys would be a lot more fun and a lot less sad than this. Like fellas- is it gay to be gay with another man when you're out camping like a couple times every couple of years? I really liked when Anne Hathaway had her titty out for like 1.5 seconds I hadn't ever seen that before. If nothing else this movie really just made me sad thinking about all the times I haven't…

  • (500) Days of Summer

    (500) Days of Summer

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I really can't believe I'm just now seeing this. But honestly I'm glad because this film DEFINITELY ruined a lot of quirked up white boys. It's all like two best friends: what if they kissed? I really enjoyed the parts where homeboy was let down, rejected, and had the nerve to whine and bitch about It (I was praying on his downfall). This man is so goofy it's funny. The funniest PowerPoint presentation I've seen in months, maybe it would be cooler if the slides were in order? That dude Mackenzie though- he just like me fr.

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★★

    This movie was such a fun ride taking full advantage of the medium of film. The storytelling manages complete absurdity while maintaining an engaging narrative leaving you wondering if it's a quirked up white boy bussin it down sexual style as it exceeds improbability as a means of causality. If this doesn't earn an Oscar nomination I'm gonna throw hands.

  • The Batman

    The Batman

    ★★★½

    He's just like me fr.