Love on the Spectrum

Sweet, entertaining, at times touching and, unlike other dating shows, pleasantly low-key, yet at the same time banal in its presentation of the individual participants and infantilising in framing the world of people with various autism-spectrum disorders (as if the creators neglected the fact that it is spectrum and not a single form of autism – all social actors are put on the same level). Musical segues are inappropriate for a series with such a theme. Documentary filmmakers circumspectly treat sexuality as something in which autistic people do not engage and that should not be discussed in their presence (for example, a completely inappropriate question enquiring as to whether a twenty-something couple have slept with each other, though they have been living together for several years, undoubtedly with a sexual component). Excessive space is given to scenes in which parents talk about their own legally competent adult children, most of whom have no problem speaking for themselves. The presentation of “supporting characters”, i.e. individual prospective mates, a few things that they like (dinosaurs, smiles) and a few things they hate (the sound of a lawn mower, bananas), is insultingly uniform and stereotyping. Perhaps it’s due to the editing, but Jodi, an expert in the field of communication among autistic people and the only person in the series to offer a “professional” perspective, does not inspire much trust and puts forth a distorted idea of the demands that should be placed on autistic people in their relationships. She prepares her clients for dates with advice on specific steps to take in certain situations (introducing oneself, offering a seat) that may be common when two people without autism meet, but require autistic people to engage in pretence and make-believe, taking on roles that may not necessarily suit them. The foundation should be that they feel comfortable with themselves. Then they can more easily connect emotionally with a partner. Despite these misgivings, I welcome the fact that Netflix has engaged in the effort to eliminate the belief that, when autistic people do not show much emotion, they cannot love, feel love and long for someone to love. (22.08.2020)