Winnetous Rückkehr

Pierre Brice is back in his most celebrated role, aged almost 60. And it was him who wrote the screenplay. And that’s how this indescribably bad “thing" (I definitely can’t call this a movie) came into being, and everything in it is absolutely awful. Everything. I’m not saying that the running time of almost three hours is too long, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen “anything" quite this d-r-a-g-g-e-d o-u-t, giving you the feeling that your suffering is lasting not hours, but entire eons. In truth, there’s scarcely enough story here for five minutes, the directing is tedious, acting performances are non-existent, not to mention technical aspects, because they are sickening; and I’m not exaggerating, you will actually feel like barfing. Fine, let Brice continue in his acting career, even playing Vinnetou, if he doesn’t think it’s undignified, but please, don’t let him near another screenplay. In fact, don’t let him attempt to write anything, from screenplays to shopping lists. (2007.02.10)