Ostatni najemnik

The worst film of 2021. I would label The Last Mercenary as a COLOSSAL DISASTER. As much as I like Jean-Claude Van Damme, he really stepped into some deep muck here. Without his presence, I might have even gone with a lower rating because the film is, in a word, truly awful. The French know how to make comedies, but The Last Mercenary definitely doesn't belong in the category of successful films of this genre. The story is nonexistent; I didn't understand at all what direction the creators originally intended. The characters are dreadful, with only Van Damme occasionally delivering a decent line (the scene with the Bloodsport poster was amusing), but that cheap imitator of Montana was so cringeworthy it made me physically sick to my stomach. I don't think a script for the film was actually written. Avoid this mess like the plague; you'll save precious minutes of your life. Hopefully, JCVD will choose a better project next time. For me, 2/10 (05.08.2021)

Usually, a film with Van Damme hinges entirely on him, and this one is no exception — he’s the only thing that really works, but even that’s not enough. It’s a shame because he finally plays a likable character, but everyone else around him is just annoying and more cringeworthy than funny. The only truly good moment comes toward the end when a Bloodsport poster pops up, followed by a series of great scenes. I can't understand why the whole film wasn't like that. Most comedies start strong and lose steam by the end, but this one does the opposite — it drags you through a series of awkward gags only to surprise you at the finish line. Despite its flaws, it might be worth sticking around for the finale. (12.08.2021)

A typically bizarre comedy where the best actor is, paradoxically, a musclebound guy from Brussels. The plot is full of holes and is clearly made to measure with various clever moments, some of which work (obsession with Scarface) and others (most) which don’t. Van Damme switches costumes and stunt men in (rather unimpressive) action scenes where there is a lot of cutting and somehow you can sense when it isn’t the star himself performing.  I fell asleep, but still I was intrigued to find out how it ended. Mediocre. (04.08.2021)

Wrinkles traverse the bump on the forehead like it’s a hedgerow, artificially looking hair retreats to the back, and beneath it is a face reminiscent of a worn-out clown in the process of removing makeup. When he’s not lending his cap to the stuntman, Jean-Claude throws around foreign wisdom. I have one for him too, it's Bulgarian (he might know it; he’s been there a few times): "Dignity, unlike virginity, can be lost repeatedly..." David Charhon's screeching farce shows signs of idiocy, and I actually do too for thinking it might entertain me. After all, the term French action comedy has become rather off-putting in recent years. (02.08.2021)