Page 238: Hang out with people who are kicking ass and will make you feel like a giant loser if you're not kicking ass, too. I (obviously) can't stresPage 238: Hang out with people who are kicking ass and will make you feel like a giant loser if you're not kicking ass, too. I (obviously) can't stress this enough.
NOW you tell me.
I'm not a fan of "tough love." I understand it's necessary in some situations, but for example, if I were on The Biggest Loser, there is NO WAY I would choose the personal trainer who bellows and screams at everyone as if she's lost her marbles. That sort of thing would make me angry but it wouldn't really motivate me. One thing I hated about You Are a Badass is that Jen Sincero works really hard to make you feel like a big loser if you haven't yet achieved every single dream you've ever had in life. I didn't find it motivating, I found it demoralizing and depressing. And I didn't even realize she was doing it deliberately until I got to the excerpt above. I wish I'd known it was intentional all along—I still wouldn't have found it motivating, but at least I would have been annoyed or angry instead of feeling like a giant loser the whole time.
Beyond that, this book was way more woo-woo than I was expecting. Sincero believes very strongly that we need to "vibrate at a high frequency" and this will cause good things to come our way. Of course, we also need to work really hard, keep our eyes on the prize, and possibly wait years and years for those good things, which makes you wonder if the vibrating part is actually necessary. But it is! Be vibrating at a high frequency at all times or you have only yourself to blame if your life isn't amazing every minute! If you're not put off by this oft-repeated bit of woo-woo, just wait until you see the out-there books she recommends in the suggested reading at the back. Frankly, if I'd known this was what I was signing up for, I never would have bought this book in the first place. (Don't ask me why I did buy this book in the first place, because I don't remember.)
As for what I liked about it. I know a lot of people are against self-help books on principle, but I'm not—people sometimes need advice, and as book people it makes sense we might turn to books. The only reason I've read so few self-help books myself is that most of them are deadly boring. But this one wasn't! It was well-written and lively and way funnier than any other self-help book I've tried. So at least I was entertained while feeling like a loser.
Also, sometimes it's just good to get a reminder that thinking positively is a better idea than thinking negatively. I'm looking to make some big changes in my life, but I know it's going to be hard and a lot of work, and I've just been feeling depressed about it. This book reminded me that, even if things don't work out exactly as you want them to, you make things much easier on yourself simply by trying to have a good attitude instead of a poor one. I realize this is an obvious point, but it was something I did need to hear right now. In that sense this book was helpful.
As I was getting close to finishing this book I was thinking I'd leave it in the lobby of my apartment building or my workplace's book swap rather than keeping it, but then I realized I'd done so much underlining in the book it would be a little weird to give it away. So that's where I'm at with this book—I apparently found a lot of meaning in it but still saw it as disposable. Should you read it? I think you all know whether this sort of thing appeals to you or not, and if it doesn't, this won't be the book that changes your mind....more
I realized suicide was the last thing I wanted to do. It was actually the opposite of what I desired. Suicide would not accomplish any of my goals:
1. I realized suicide was the last thing I wanted to do. It was actually the opposite of what I desired. Suicide would not accomplish any of my goals:
1. Punishment of those who made me miserable 2. The infliction of lifelong guilt and remorse in everybody who had ever met me 3. Idolization by other suicidal teenagers 4. Something named after me (could be small but not a sandwich) 5. The end of my fucking nightmare of a life 6. Personality transplant
When I saw it this way, I realized something. It wasn't that I wanted to kill myself.
What I really wanted was to end my life.
Augusten Burroughs! I adore him, but even I was unsure if he could write a self-help book. Having a messy life, which Burroughs has had, can only help you write a self-help book if you've managed to (mostly) clean it up, but fortunately Burroughs has also done this. So who better to dole out advice?
Burroughs covers a lot of ground in this 228-page book, and not every chapter is successful. Basically, you can tell when he's speaking from deeply felt experience and when he's kind of winging it, and not surprisingly the chapters based on experience are the best. But even at his least helpful, Burroughs never fails to be funny, original, and outrageous in his own way.
Even though This Is How is unconventional, it's not likely to impress avowed haters of the self-help genre. Still, if you're open to it, could use some life inspiration, or just plain love Augusten Burroughs like I do, this one is worth checking out....more
My original impression of Radical Sanity, which I first read in 1999 and dutifully evaluated in my reading journal, was as follows: "While the idea ofMy original impression of Radical Sanity, which I first read in 1999 and dutifully evaluated in my reading journal, was as follows: "While the idea of Elizabeth Wurtzel writing a self-help book is kind of hilarious, this was a fun read with some good advice." Of course, I didn't know upon my first read that by the time she wrote this, Wurtzel had already been through a harrowing addiction and recovery and had, in fact, learned a few things worth passing on, as she later revealed in much greater detail in her memoir More, Now, Again. This second time around, I understood that she wasn't just kind of making it all up; her advice was based on her actual life experience.
But that's not all that was different on this reread. Some elements of this short book are a little dated, most particularly the way that, for Wurtzel, everything seems to boil down to attracting a man. There are chapters full of good advice on being yourself, believing in your own beauty, cultivating your passions... all good stuff, but she can never resist adding that doing these things will (supposedly) make you irresistible to men. This didn't really bother me; it just amused me and made me marvel at how much things have changed since then.
Then there's the (related) fact that Wurtzel seems to see it as a foregone conclusion that we're all going to get married (to men) and have children at some relatively young age, definitely before our 30s are over. Sure, many women do get married and have kids by then, but now I know Wurtzel herself didn't marry until her late 40s and never had kids. I just kept wondering what she would think of her own advice now if only she were still here to consider it.
All of which is to say, there's no longer any way to read Radical Sanity just for what it is. Elizabeth Wurtzel was a big personality, and for me she looms even larger now that she's gone. But even given all that, this is still a fun read with some good advice. Some of it is hilarious, some of it is provocative, and all of it gives the sense that Wurtzel truly believes in the fabulousness of her reader. Two days after finishing a book that took me one day to read, I'm still basking in its glow....more
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