Review of King Kong

King Kong (2005)
6/10
Spectacular and entertaining - but also very silly
30 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I'm sure everyone is familiar with the basic story of 'King Kong' already and certainly this remake doesn't stray too far from it. In fact I was a little concerned that a running time of three hours might be rather too long for a film whose story I already knew well. But it is a credit to its makers that it kept me entertained throughout, a far cry from, say, 'King Kong Lives' (1986) which had me bored within 10 minutes.

The 1930s setting gives the film a wonderful flavour and the recreation of the period New York is brilliant, especially as it comes across as a real city rather than a film set consisting of just a few streets. Equally impressive is the depiction of Skull Island, now a place oozing menace and danger. The sculpted rocks around it are creepy, the natives are truly scary and we see all manner of nasty creatures in the jungle, ranging from various dinosaurs to giant insects. These creatures are very convincing for the most part as is Kong himself, which is a relief given how important he is to the whole film.

Although the film asks a lot for the viewer to believe that all these monsters and a giant ape could really exist, you know all this beforehand so you are, in essence, agreeing to suspend your disbelief a little bit. The film therefore doesn't help matters at all by continually throwing up the most far-fetched ideas one after another: How can a fat man carrying a camera tripod and a guy of at least 60 outrun some giant stampeding dinosaurs over a distance of what must be at least two miles, without even getting out of breath? How can a man who, by his own admission, has never handled a gun before, successfully shoot all the insects off his buddy with a machine gun whilst both he and his buddy are constantly moving about and without a single bullet hitting his buddy? How feasible is it that Kong doesn't accidentally squeeze Ann Darrow to death when he has her gripped in his fist whilst fighting off three Tyrannosaurs and so forth? If it is so cold that the ice over the lake in Central Park is thick enough to support Kong's weight without cracking, then why isn't Ann Darrow the slightest bit chilly in that skimpy dress, especially at the top of the Empire State Building? How does she manage to hold on to a falling ladder for so long? Kong chases Driscoll's taxi across half of Manhattan. So how likely is it that as soon as he finally catches it, Ann Darrow turns up in exactly the right street? How can Driscoll see what's happening on the top of the Empire State Building when he's right outside its entrance? Wouldn't he have to be a few blocks away to get a decent view? Likewise how can Ann see all the way down to the street from the top? Then there are various cop-outs. We see the natives skillfully pole-vaulting from the island onto Denham's ship so that they can kidnap Ann, but we never see how they transport her back onto the island, as its clearly impossible for them to return by the same method. Nor do we get to see how a 25ft unconscious gorilla is loaded onto a relatively small vessel and ferried back to New York.

The tone of the film is quite comedic - the first 50 minutes or so before the island first appears is almost played out as pure farce, so its difficult to take the film seriously at all, which would appear to be how its director intended. Which is a shame given the immense amount of work that has gone into it, because I think that like the 1933 original this version could have been a lot darker and more sinister. It benefits from modern budgets and technology but ultimately offers little in terms of true storytelling innovation, the only new idea that really assists the original plot being that Ann is now more of an acrobatic showgirl and that her idea of putting on a show for Kong is what makes the big ape fall for her in the first place. But sadly so much of the logic from the 1933 version has been lost this time round.

Watch, enjoy but don't expect to be scared.
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