Owen Hart
Owen Hart is that wrestler you might remember hearing about who fell off the roof and died. He is the brother to 12 time heavy-weight winging & whining champion of the world, Bret Hart and the brother in-law to the British-Bulldog. He wrestled under the name Owen Hart (well, duh) and also was known as other ring names such as "The Rocket", "King of Harts", "The Blue Blazer" & "The Road Sign"
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Born in Calgary, Alberta, Canada to Stew Pid Fart and Barbra Bush in 1958. It wasn't long before Owen could speak his own mind. In-fact his whore mother recalled many stories where a little baby Owen would yell out to her, "Well enough is enough, and its time for a change" and if she didnt comply right away, Owen would tear his diaper off and drag his ass across the carpet.
Owen would later follow in his father Jew Harts footsteps and learn how to aim in thr bowl. Stew also was a pro wrestler and founded Calgary Wrestling Stamp Weed (CWSW). The promotion showcased just about all the male prostitutes and weed growers Canada had to offer, and also many legends of struggle-cuddles passed through the promotion as well. However unlike a lot of other dick licking promotions of the time, to wrestle for the CWSW, you where only awarded Stews daughters as payment, instead of money. Legends of the ring such as The British Bulldog & Jim "The Advil" Neidhart both knocked up a Fart, and Stew forced them at gun-point to get hitched to 'em.
Tag Time[edit | edit source]
Owen would ask one of Bret's arch nemesis to tag with him, and Jumbo agreed to. Owen did not just pick Jumbo because he was an arch enemy of his brothers, he also liked the fact that Jumbo wore diapers and it reminded him of the days when he was happy walking around in his diapers and saying .... oh wait, we already did that joke... anyway, Owen & Jumbo would become one of the #1 tag-teams for the time they spent together, with Owens high flying acrobatic skills and excellence in submission wrestling worked nicely along with Jumbo who just had to turn around and swing some of the fat from his belly to TKO the opposition.
The tag-team would come apart when Bret would call out Owen and the rest of the Hart Foundation to call a truce and team up to help fight the bigger issues of corporate America trying to hold them down as the #1 man because they demanded that Canada have a flusher installed so the toilet bowl of America could have it's crap sent down the drain... which would be stupid, as it would only flush into Mexico and the Hart's didn't hate Mexico... Whatever, I dunno, Bret wasn't the best at making speeches, but it re-formed the Hart Foundation in a time the WWF needed ratings and opponents for DX.
Hart Foundation Re-Formation, To Constipation[edit | edit source]
Owen teamed with his brother Bret, as well as Jim, Bulldog and 'Brian Pillman who might have married one of the 100 Hart sisters, who knows? Who cares? The faction would last a year and a half until the group split due to Bret being caught up in a sex scandal in Montreal with Bret Micheals (the famous Bret Screwed Bret incident). Owen found himself the only Hart left in the WWF, so he became known as the Hart & Soul survivor. He then dressed up as a crossing guard and wrestled for all the lollipop-men of Canada across the world.
Tag Team Two[edit | edit source]
Owen then teamed up with a cub-scout named Jeff Jarret. Jeff & Owen became a decent tag-team, with their manager Stone Cold Debra Austin. Together they won a few tag titles, but the fate of the tag-team would come to an end when Owen was wrestling solo on the side disguised in a Captain America costume known as the Blue Blazer.
Owen denied he was the Blue Blazer for the length the character was able to speak for himself.... no, sorry, i apologize, that's just in bad taste.
Death[edit | edit source]
|
In 1999 headlines crossed the world about a wrestler who had fallen to his death. Owen was dressed as the Blue Blazer and had intended to be lowered from the balcony to the ring by a harness, but the stunt went wrong as Owen tried to tie the cape around his neck and accidentally pulled the release chord instead, falling several feet to his death. Owen would be praised for his wrestling skills, and fair-welled in a respectful manner, he even won the biggest botch of the ye.... no, bad taste, again sorry... well, Owen's name was chanted through the WWF arenas as fans yelled for "ONE MORE MATCH".... SORRY, SORRY SORRY, bad taste, i know... forgive me... his name was chanted out of respect by fans during the Owen Hart Memorial show on the following episode of RAW after his death. His memory would live on forever... or at least until Eddie Guerrero stole the... cough.. i mean, ummm... Owen will forever be missed, and may he rest in peace knowing he was one of the all time greats of Pro-Wrestling or so they claimed after he died because thats the sorta thing people say about someone who didnt acheive much after they die. |
