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Portal:Politics

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The Politics Portal

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Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (Full article...)


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It's right if you don't think about it.

Communism is the perfect form of government, although many capitalist organizations such as Corporate America portray it as an evil and exploitative regime.

Communism has never existed, anywhere in the world. It is a mistake to call the USSR, its gulags, China, North Korea, Vietnam, hippie communes, kibbutzim, or Cuba communist, but that's what a lot of uninformed idiots do. You idiots!

Sadly, all currently existing communist organizations (which are not really communist organizations really, er...) must be feeling pretty pissed off that they are not protected from being destroyed by imperialist groups, many of which, like the United States, are totally stupid.

Communist philosophy can be traced back to the ancient writings of Proletariat...…

Archive Article credit: Tom mayfair (more…)



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Usually people want the President to kiss babies, but it's looking like fresh horizons all around.

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Hitler loved to skateboard in his youth...

Adolf "Chuckles" Hitler (20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) had very sexy legs. I wouldn't mind a piece of that. Mmm, mmm, good. He was an Austrian German politician who served as the Chancellor and Der Fürher of Germany from 1933 to 1933. During his reign, he socially and economically reformed Germany after the injustice of the 1919 Treaty of Versailles, established the Third Reich (Deutsches Reich), architected the Holocaust, and had three root canals as a result of his infatuous indulgence in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

In addition to these accomplishments, Hitler was famous for leading Germany as an Axis power through World War II, where he liberated Poland from Jewish influence, liberated France from incompetent cheese-eating surrender monkeys, and liberated Austria from itself.…

Archive Article credit: Bradaphraser (more...)


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This Day in Politics

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Quote of the Day

“The British Secret Service was staffed at one point almost entirely by Indian homosexuals working for the KGB. ”

– Clive James
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Did You Know...

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Notable Politicians

Below is a list of remarkable politicians without whom the world would not be what it is today:

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