THE DAILY GRIND(HOUSE)
...We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Super trashy flick from Spain. All types of bullshit goes on here. Wow. I'll start with the karate fight sequences, they are ridiculous. One of those deals where the actors aren't even close to hittin' the other guy - like a mile off. Had to be done in one take.

This is your typical revenge movie when the bad guys are some wannabe Nazi bikers. This is their cheesy leader.
Check out the rest of his crew...
There's a good amount of sex and violence. One problem - beware - also one too many naked dude shots. Sup with that? Although the one naked dude doin' karate is funny as all hell. Here's a 3 minute clip to see the dealio. Or find the whole flick elsewhere online. It's craptastic.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Aka "Firecracker" Tagline: She'll send you to heaven and then to hell!

A U.S. Martial arts instructor (and she's a hottie) travels to the orient in search of her missing sister. While looking for her sis she kicks major ass all over the place. This trashy flick was directed by Cirio H. Santiago. I bet the "H" stands for Hard-fuckin-core cause he has a massive ass kickin' grindhouse resume. Check out my post for T.N.T. Jackson also directed by Cirio.
I know what you're thinkin' - the word "naked" is in the title - does it deliver any nudity? Yes. One fight sequence our hero hottie accidentally loses an article of clothing after each boss she defeats. By the time we get to the end of the scene she is down to just her panties. It's so freakin' ridiculous and awesome at the exact same time. I've done you right by posting the scene below...enjoy.

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Monday, July 21, 2008
Aka "18 Shaolin Disciples & "Killer Fists." I dig this chopsocky flick cause is super gimmicky. The protagonist is equipped with weapons called the "bloody birds"- a three bladed spinning device that can cut down trees (which the filmmakers never miss an opportunity to show it doing). The weapon is super cool and they also use a awesome sound effect every time its thrown. There's also chains with discs, chains with daggers, swords...yeah, its some weapon heavy shit.
Also, there aren't many slow spots in this one - it moves quickly. The production budget was obviously very low and cheap looking which makes it even funnier.
The body count is 60. Crazy badass shit. This cheap trailer cut for DVD release gives ya a nice lil sample...

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Friday, July 18, 2008
Tagline: Kung-fu girls on a rampage! These chicks are tough and damn they're 70's hotties too.
To sum it up: it's hotties vs. grindhouse legend Sid Haig. Can't go wrong with that combo.

The all female Kung-fu army also experiments with brain transplants leading us to the mad scientist and Frakenzombie action! Phew...this is for the 2 am smokers fo' sho.
I also dig on the Aka's for this picture: "Chinese Puzzle," "The Deadly and the Beautiful" & "The Women of Transplant Island." The latter one being my personal fave. Enjoy this sweet trailer which includes some badass narration and funky beats in the background.

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Saturday, June 21, 2008
This craziness just came out on proper DVD release. So let the silliness begin.

Martial Arts mixed with 80's gymnastics n' cheese makes for an over the top lame premise and that's I'm all about. Damn, I wish my 34 old ass saw at the theatre. That's how I know I'm not perfect.

This dude is a total douchebag. Check it out.It sucks cause I love lame shit and now I gotta drop 20 bucks on this classic trash DVD. But Gymkata rules my boring world...thank god.

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Kick ass tagline: She purrs like a kitten...makes love like a siren. This side of the pacific, she is the meanest, deadliest and sexiest secret agent.

Directed by Filipino grindhouse master Bobby A. Suarez and starring the attractive Marrie Lee as the top policewoman Cleopatra Wong. Damn, this flick is the bomb with a fucky ass soundtrack!

As you can see by the theatrical poster (which I have framed in my bedroom cause I don't fuck around) this movie has all types of weapons. Guns, shotguns and bow n' arrows and that's freakin' AWESOME.This was followed up by a sequel titled Pay or Die which I'm still tryin' to find a copy of. Also, there's a new one in production now titled Vengeance of Cleopatra Wong. 30 years after the original! I hope they pull it off. In the meantime check out this:

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Friday, June 13, 2008
Enter Jim "Dragon" Kelly! It's about time I stepped up n' dropped some afro kung-fu on this site. There's no better way to start than with Jim Kelly. Sure, he made a brief appearance in my last post, Mr. No legs, but Black Belt Jones showcases him nicely.

This suckas also directed by Robert Clouse. The mofo behind Enter The Dragon! And Black Belt Jones' got Scatman Crothers to boot.


It's the typical karate master against the mafia story here. Except here we get the Blaxploitation/ Martial Arts mix. Of course the soundtrack is as funky as a batch of collard greens with butter and a splash of hot sauce. BAM!

Just as you might expect - Mr. Jones kicks ass all up n' down the neighborhood car wash for the grand finale. Nice short-shorts.Yet another classic 70's Blaxploitation trailer with a great voice over...

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
It's time to go new school on y'all asses. Yep, thats right, we got some grind coming out in the '08 straight outta Japan.

The Machine Girl has gore, ninjas, chainsaws, a flying guillotine and (a cinema first) drill bra! It's a thing of beauty and it's part of the new wave Japanese splatter punk revolution.

This is a classic revenge film where the protagonist wears a schoolgirl uniform, has a machine gun for an arm and the viewer gets an occasional panty shot. Need I say more?

When the blood sprays in this flick - it sprays so much you'd think the production crew must have worn raincoats. Fuck, why does America get stuck with bullshit torture porn Saw films? Maybe its time to move to Japan.Okay, as usual, I've made my point and I like to keep it short n' sweet. So watch this trailer and go pick it up on DVD. It's worth it.

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MOTFG aka the sequel to the One Armed Boxer. Tagline: It's A Mean Machine - Cuts Your Head Off Clean!

That's right, I went for the kill today, you sexy MF's. It's the most classic grindhouse kung-fu flick, period. Written, directed and starring my main man Jimmy Wang Yu (I call him Jimbo) as the One Armed Boxer who must defeat the MOTFG who of course is also blind.

Non stop action, decapitations and the horrible chopsocky style dubbing that we've all grown to love. I won't watch a subtitled version of this. No fucking way.

Below is the Indian dude with really long arms. In fact, a handful of these characters were later ripped off by Capcom for the Street Fighter 2 video game.This sucka hits the gas from frame one and doesn't let the fuck up...so bow down to the original theatrical trailer!

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Friday, May 30, 2008
I'll get right to the point as usual. The best part of Chinese Hercules is the Hercules character, Bolo Yeung.

Bolo isn't the star of this movie. One would get confused since he's the main attraction. He isn't in the flick that much, but when he is it's waaay over the top!

A kung fu master (Chen Wei Min) works on a dock where the owner is a real prick. His main henchman is the Chinese Hercules and he a nasty motherfucker. He beats anybody that gets in his way including women! Eventually, the kung fu master decides he must try to fight back.

Yeah, it's gonna take a friggin' log to try and beat down the Chinese Hercules!I'm definitely not steering ya wrong what I say watch this trailer. It's gives ya all the good shit.

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Today I bring you the Bollywood Saturday Night Fever!

A street performer becomes a famous singer/disco dancer and must avenge his mother's death.

Disco Dancer has one of the best soundtracks in cinema history. All the songs are catchy and full of disco bliss. One song is a rip-off of The Buggles "Video Killed The Radio Star" and another was recently covered by M.I.A. called "Jimmy" which is featured on her new album.

The amount of flashy polyester in this flick is enough to open a freakin' thrift shop with!
Since there's no trailer for this feature I'm posting the "Video Killed The Radio Star" rip-off scene...so get ready for Bollywood disco magic.

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Monday, May 26, 2008
Tagline: "Men call him Savage, women call him all the time!"

Savage is a mercenary played by James Inglehardt, a mercenary with some serious sideburns.

After being charged for a crime he didn't commit, Savage uses his cheesy karate skills and his all female commando squad (led by Carol Speed) to kill the bad guys.

This was helmed by Cirio H. Santiago. This guy has a great grindhouse resume under his belt. He also did T.N.T. Jackson which I reviewed earlier this month.

The soundtrack is definitely funky and there's plenty of nude scenes to boot. (I had to take this pic myself since there's nothing online for this flick!)At one point, Savage makes a molotov cocktail/flamethrower thing that kicks friggin' ass! Warning: cheesy trailer goodness ahead!

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Thursday, May 22, 2008
Jimmy Wang Yu is the White Dragon. A one man wrecking crew with his steel spear aka "six feet of silver death."

Sure, Wang Yu has been in a ton of classics, but this one is solid on the trash scale. Bad dubbing, missing footage, scratchy transfer, wacky sound effects...blaze it up cause it's all here.

The White Dragon must save the Chinese nation from tyrannical destruction all by himself. The leads us to a strong 30 minute grand finale of Wang Yu spearing suckers to death. Zero dialogue in the second half, just killing. That's the way I like it!

When our hero spears an enemy through the chest they don't bother to make it look real. It's the obvious hold the spear under the armpit trick.

The White Dragon fights General Tai in the final battle with a shocking ending.Another noteworthy thing is the horrible 80's prog rock song in the opening credits. The band is called Flood and the song soooo doesn't fit in this flick!

Another ass kickin' trailer...strictly droppin' gems on y'all.

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Monday, May 19, 2008
Every once and while I gotta post a campy sexploitation flick. FACT. Sure these are NSFW, NWS and NSS but really it's only some T&A.

Superchick aka Tara B. True is a stewardess by day and a karate choppin' nymphomanic by night. Nymphos with kung-fu skills rule and that's why the 70's were the shizznit.

The only reason to watch this is for titties and cheesy dialogue. Superchick delivers on both accounts. Two classic sex kittens are exposed in this flick. 70's adult star Candy Samples and Penthouse pet Uschi Digard and she gets a whipping! BCI put this out on their Grindhouse Double Feature DVD series complete with grind trailers and bumpers. Here's the campy trailer...

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What we got right here is a martial arts/ spaghetti western hybrid. That's right karate and gunplay together at last and fuckin' shit up! Starring Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad and The Ugly) and Lo Lieh (Five Fingers of Death) both searching for the same treasure.

This is another film that influenced Tarantino, specifically a scene where the gunfighter reads a man a bible passage before killing him.
In one scene, Van Cleef autographs a chicks ass. I'm going to put that on my list of things to do before I check out. And of course, autographing a chicks ass comes right after I blow a line off her belly. Then and only then, I can say I lived.

Here's the karate choppin' gun shootin' trailer...catch y'all tomorrow with another piece of classic trash.

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Queen of the Asian revenge film, Angela Mao is out to beat down the man who made her sister commit suicide. Angela is so lethal in this movie her look alone will make you piss your pants. I suggest wearing Depends or some other type of adult diaper when watching this film.

The distributors titled this film Deep Thrust to try and capitalize on the HUGE success of the XXX film Deep Throat. Those tricky bastards! Imagine being a kid thinkin' your about to enjoy a kung-fu movie and the next thing you know your watching a dude gettin' his knob slobbed. Ah... the good old days.

This also stars Sammo Hung (with a name like that he should've been in Deep Throat) as a bad guy and sure Sammo has a few tricks up his sleeve but he's no match for the Lady Whirlwind.
Shit, if I were a female MC, I'd go by Lady Whirlwind fo' sho! That's a badass name.

Okay, if you do anything today watch, no...listen to the announcer in this trailer for DEEP THRUST!

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Sunday, May 4, 2008
Jeannie Bell is an old school, chocolate hottie and Playboy Playmate of October 1969. In this film she stars as a karate expert searching for her brother's killer.

One scene is a sleazy, topless cat fight between Jeannie Bell and some other buxom 70's babe. And this cat fight is all kung-fu baby. It works on all levels.

Check the funky-ass trailer...


Here's her Playmate pic...Hot!

Seriously, Jeannie Bell gives Pam Grier a run for her money in dis stank piece o' trash! My question is why'd she cover up her muff in this photo? (And yeah, I went there)

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The best in exploitation cinema from kung-fu to horror to afrocentric. 70's style. Ya' stupid muthafucka!