Talk:After the Rain (TV special)/GA1

Latest comment: 8 months ago by Averageuntitleduser in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Averageuntitleduser (talk · contribs) 01:12, 8 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

Howdy, I'll be giving this a look through! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 01:12, 8 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Well-written

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How heartwarming! I enjoyed the hook with Typhoon Ketsana and the structure of the rest of the article. Forgive my pickiness, though, as it is a short one.

  • If After The Rain: A Hopeful Christmas is the official title, consider using it in the lead (of course, After the Rain is fine elsewhere).
Done on the first bolded (official) title
Linked
  • Approximately 70,124 people were displaced and sheltered in 244 evacuation centers. — there were surely more displaced in total. I think this implication is less apparent in something like: "Approximately 244 evacuation centers sheltered 70,124 people who had become displaced."
Makes sense, tweaked as suggested.
  • is spliced with a series of interviews that showcased — "is" and "showcased" are inconsistent tense-wise
Thanks for catching that. Fixed now to was spliced
  • which aired on December 13, 2009 — I would move this after the sentence about the special featuring Velasquez. I think the chronological order would make more sense.
Done.
  • GMA and its social programs and outreach division, the GMA Kapuso Foundation, — "social programs" should be singular if it's only describing the GMA Kapuso Foundation.
Done
  • In the second feature, a father who lost his wife and kids as a result of drowning. — this is a sentence fragment.
You're right, fixed now
  • hard hit by flooding due to levee breach and the rescue of its residents. — this implies that the rescue of residents is a negative effect, rather than just being difficult.
Revised it for more clarity.
  • where Velasquez was joined by musical guest performers: — this makes it seem like the songs after the colon were sung alongside guest performers.
Correct, each of those (three) numbers/songs were with guest acts.
Got it. I tweaked it a little for clarity.
  • "Natutulog Ba Ang Diyos?" was performed with Eva Castillo and Kyla, while Tyler Collins's "Thanks to You" was a duet number with Jay R. — just for confirmation, were these performed alongside Velasquez or just on their own?
Also correct.

Verifiable with no original research

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No issues with source formatting. Earwig shows a low score of 30%, due to the attributed quote box. No original research, as all content is cited where needed. However:

  • who were also among the aid recipients. — where is this in the article?
I've added that along with the dinner party.

Spot-check

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  • Olan, Sarah Jayne (September 26, 2014). "Looking back: the records of Ondoy". Rappler. Archived from the original on February 26, 2023. Retrieved February 26, 2023.
    • Where is the "most of Luzon" part from? Looks good otherwise.
Metro Manila is part of Luzon, as well as Calabarzon, Central Luzon. A big chunk of those 23 provinces are in Luzon. It also mentions further in the news article re the regions affected by rainfall, which are part of Luzon (except VII which is in the Visayas) : Regions I, II, III, IV-A, IV-B V, VII, CAR, and NCR.
Ah, that makes sense.

Broad in its coverage

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I really tried to look for more sources and I've ended up empty-handed. I think this article is as comprehensive as possible. However:

  • This is very minor, but I feel like the dinner party beforehand is worth a mention, I found it interesting.
Added this bit alongside the aid packages.

Neutral

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No issues on this front.

Stable

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No recent edit wars or content disputes.

Illustrated

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The title card is relevant and has a suitable fair use rationale.

Summary

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I love the work you're doing with Filipino artists, and this article is close to becoming another green piece of the puzzle! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 14:51, 9 March 2024 (UTC)Reply

As always, feel free to disagree with my comments or use something better than what I've suggested! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 15:05, 9 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
@Averageuntitleduser: Thanks for taking on this review and appreciate the kind words. I've actioned all comments and suggestions. Let me know if there's anythng I might have missed. Pseud 14 (talk) 16:07, 9 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
The changes look nice, great work! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 18:40, 9 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.