Amen

A scene from an A-Men episode

The Amen, or A-Men, are a crack commando unit from a Vietnamese church wrongfully excommunicated (by a false Pope) for a sin they didn't commit. If you need help in church, and you know where to find them, you can call, the A-Men. They also go by the name Selah.

Members of the A-Men[edit | edit source]

• Jesus - due to his humble attitude he calls himself A-Man instead, but after defeating the Nazi singlehandedly Hitler refused to believe one man screwed his entire army and change his codename to A-Men.

• Mr. T - All around huggable lovable rebel, he uses his gold chains to absorb lightning and release it at his opponents. Mr. T has also reportedly stepped out of the van, and caught oncoming enemy bullets and missiles with his bare hands. He also drives the van.

• Wisecracking Leader - Wisecracking leader explains where to drive the van, and why they are driving the van.

• "Wholly Mad" / Oscar Wilde - Kept in a sanitarium before the turn of the 20th Century, the first five minutes of each episode are spent getting the mission brief, then the second five minutes involve traveling back in time to spring him from the asylum. He was the best single or multi-engine airplane pilot to have died before powered flight was achieved.

• A-Men Van - A grey van which reportedly carries more weapons than NATO. It is driven, not to be confused with the terrible movie of the same name.

• Ellen DeGeneres - She tells jokes and moves her hands around a lot, and stutters. Sometimes people will laugh at her antics. Just when she gets most annoying, she saves the world. Every time. At the end of every episode she calls God on the phone to give the mission status.

• Amen-Ra, Egyptian King of the Gods - He was kicked out of the group since he was the most anti-Christian.

A-Men duties[edit | edit source]

The A-Men informally serve the Archbishop of extracongregational duties in the Roman Catholic church. The archbishop briefs them on a gigantic video screen installed in the inside of their van. Frequent episodes include the emergency driving of baptismal water, delivery of tasty wafers in record time, and killing thousands of bad guys trying to get in the way of a Communion, often with hilariously pious, yet snide comments.