This page does NOT exist
Nominated Article
This page does NOT exist. I don't care if you don't believe us. It doesn't! We're telling you, this page simply does not exist! Like really, if it existed, would we really be here trying to convince you of its nonexistence? That would be absurd!
Really though, we don't care what you think. Just don't want you to go through life thinking that this page exists, when it doesn't. Imagine the psychological repercussions ... Next thing you know you'll start telling us the sky is blue and that the government cares about you. We+ understand why you want this page to exist, but we can't always get what we want now can we? The page just doesn't exist. Deal with it. Deep down you know that's just nonsense.
Proof[edit | edit source]
Asking for proof is obnoxious. Anyways, how can one prove that anything does not exist? There's no mathematical formula, no scientific equation. Honestly, what do you expect us to do, literally look everywhere in the entire universe and all of infinity for this page? I bet if we accomplished this you'd just say "we missed it" or something. And really, us checking all of infinity for something? We can't even remember our password to our uncyclopedia accounts! You'll just have to trust us on this one.
History[edit | edit source]
Are you serious? I mean really, the history of a page that does not exist? If the page never existed, it was never even part of history! A history section on a page that does not exist wouldn't even exist! Or would it? Perhaps, even though this page does NOT exist, its history section DOES exist, perhaps floating formlessly in space and time somewhere, merely waiting, waiting for a time when this page, which does NOT exist, will in fact come into existence. Maybe the history section is merely waiting for a purpose, a reason to exist. But that doesn't change the fact that this page does NOT exist!
Contradictions[edit | edit source]
What? You want contradictions for a page that CLEARLY does NOT exist? The fact of the matter which has no matter at all since this page doesn't exist is that many people believe this page in fact does exist, a completely ridiculous theory since this page does NOT exist nor has it in the first place so stop asking! See? How can this page exist if there is nothing there? OBVIOUSLY then, we [who also do not exist] can conclude that this page does not exist and thereby is not there. At all. Nothing to see. Move along now. This page just simply does NOT exist.
Non believers[edit | edit source]
You're STILL here? [Which is nowhere since this page does NOT exist, remember, you nonexisting llama?]
Alright, fine! There are in fact those who will deceive you by telling you that this non-existing page actually exists and flail about on their heads and bottoms to display how supposedly "accurate" their statements are. But don't be fooled. Ask your neighbor for example, and he/she will indefinitely point out that this page doesn't exist. Ask the government, they'll tell you the same thing. This page does not exist, therefore we can determine that those reading the nonexistent page also do not exist and therefore YOU do not exist. And if you do not exist than your neighbors and government do not exist either. In being nonexistent, you can obviously see that this page also does not exist. AND if neither you, the government, or your neighbors do not exist than neither does anything else and we are all just simply nonexistent and floating about in Nowhereland with pixies and jellies. But, for something to not exist you have to have someone who exists and is thinking about it and wondering what does exist and what does not, therefore something does exist and you and the government and your neighbors exist as well. That, however, still proves my point further: "this page does not exist."
Trivia[edit | edit source]
Oh, this is just what I needed! A stinkin' trivia section on the page that does not exist! Well, here's nice piece of trivia for you: This page does NOT exist! There. Happy? Are you glad there was a trivia section? No? Well, don't worry, your your pretty little non-existing head, there's plenty more where that came from!
- This page does NOT exist!
- This page does NOT exist!
- This page does NOT exist!
This page exists![1]- The above statement is in a nonexistent article and therefore doesn't exist.
- This page does NOT exist!
- This page does NOT exist!
- This page does NOT exist!
- This statement saying this page does NOT exist does NOT exist!
- This page does NOT exist!
There's your precious trivia, did you like that? Did it make you happy? Did you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Well, guess what? I don't care. Nobody cares! If you care, that makes you a nobody. But none of that changes the fact that this page does NOT exist!
Well, the page exists NOW[edit | edit source]
You're wrong. This page still is nonexistent. Everyone in a high position in the Government denies the existence of this page. Since the Government says it does not exist, it does not. It is that simple. Your pitiful mind simply does not comprehend the Government's word. Heil!
- And you are also wrong. The Government doesn't exist. We've never had a president and we've never been under any rule at all. Since the Government cannot exist, neither do feeble attempts to convince society that this page, in fact, does not exist. Ergo, the page exists only if you believe in the religion that is "Government" and believe that non-existent things can be brought into existence by believing that they simply don't exist. This starts a paradox of non-existing objects. It is impossible to create an object that is non-existent without not existing yourself.
- Everyone knows that just doesn't happen. Except The Boogeyman, he's always there, when he exists, which is only when he isn't reading this non existing page.
See also[edit | edit source]
- This state does NOT exist
- This page (honestly) really does not exist and if you dare to click on this link you will be sent into a black hole of endless nothingness where you will be tempted to edit pages that do not exist which will only get in you in even more trouble.
- This page does not exist either
- ↑ FẬLṠḚ