Pikachusetts

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Pikachusetts
Great Federated States of Pikachusetts
New Massachusetts
FlagPikachusetts.png CoatPikachusetts.png
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Where Pikachus Rule the Earth!"
Anthem: 1998 Pokemon Theme
Maaaaaaaasssssss.png
Capital Pikongyang
Largest city Pikashire
Official language(s) Pikachu
Government Supreme Pikachacracy
Supreme Dictator Pikachu
National hero(es) Pikachu and Ash Ketchum
Declaration
 of Independence
Πth, Pika 1989
Currency Lightning coins
Religion Shinto
Commander of the Gestapo Ash Ketchum of Pallet
Internet TLD .pikachu

Pikachusetts is the state of Massachusetts after Pikachu took it over by defeating Jigglypuff in the the Battle of Boston. Most people are happy that the name is now easier to pronounce. Everyone is forced to celebrate Pikachu Day every other Monday, except for those Mondays when you just don't want to get out of bed. Though Pikachu is a bit of a Supreme Dictator, he is still a better ruler then Michael S. Dukakis, an opposing type of Pocket Monster.

Pikachu[edit]

Pikachu, the step-brother of Pichu, the younger brother of renowned drug lord Raichu, and the negation of a pikadeth, is an electric rat pokémon, who used his diabolically supreme rodent powers to take over and rename Massachusetts. He now rules with an iron tail. He was Emperor of Japan during 1998 and 1999, after sales of his shower curtains overtook those of Jackie Chan's. Being a rat, his attacks are things like squeak-vomit and plague flea.

Public Works[edit]

As Pikachu is an electric Pokemon, and Pikachusetts is a coastal nation, Pikachu is able to exert his power over the aquatic life which inhabits Boston Harbor and the Charles River. A major part of Pikachu's bid for continued domination is to use his power over the aquatic Pokemon to force them to keep ground and rock types from becoming a threat to him.

Controversies[edit]

In order to better ensure a water Pokemon is always available to protect him from rock or ground Pokemon, Pikachu has made efforts to flood Boston, beginning with the "central artery" tunnels. However, an unforeseen problem with this effort has been the level of toxicity in the Charles. Most Magikarp would dissolve in the Charles river within 7 hours.

Revolt of the Squirtle[edit]

Since the initial shift in power that brought Pikachu to the head of the local government, there has been rebellious acts by hostile Squirtles. Due to Pikachu's use of its powers on the aquatic life in Boston harbor and the Charles river, there have been estimates of hundreds of deaths within all castes of Squirtle society. Top news agencies have said that the Squirtle rebel groups have been helped by the New York Yankees. Reports say the Yankees have been supplying the rebels with steroids and growth hormones.

Within weeks of the early formation of the Squirtle Rebellion, there had been dozens of assassination attempts and suicide bombings targetting Pikachu. Thus far, every attempt against Pikachu's life has failed. This due mainly to the fact that Squirtles are terrible at leadership roles, just look at the squirtle squad. In spite of their failures to date, many believe the Squirtles have undercover agents among Pikachu's officials who may be waiting to be activated in a massive coup.