Talk:Art in modern Scotland/GA1
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Reviewer: Yash! (talk · contribs) 21:37, 30 March 2015 (UTC)
I will give my initial comments by tomorrow. Thanks! — Yash! [talk] 21:37, 30 March 2015 (UTC)
- OK, thanks for taking this on.--SabreBD (talk) 23:09, 30 March 2015 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- Art in modern Scotland includes all aspects of the visual arts in Scotland - Art in modern Scotland includes all aspects of the visual arts in the country Done
- What does 'work of the Four mean?' Done
- major artists, including - artists, such as Done
- Best to not use words like 'successful' Done
- Scotland possess significant collections of art, such as the - Scotland has significant collections of art at places like Done
- Linking Edinburgh and Glasgow would be better for a reader who would like to read about those cities Done
- Significant schools - Prominent schools. Since you use 'significant' in the previous sentence. Done
- The major funding body with responsibility for the arts in Scotland is Creative Scotland. Support is also given by local councils and independent foundations. - Done
- The major funding body responsible for the arts in Scotland is Creative Scotland, with support from local councils and independent foundations as well. Done
I have one last exam tomorrow, after which I will review the rest of the article. Thanks for waiting! — Yash! [talk] 17:23, 31 March 2015 (UTC)
- I have implemented these so far, except the last one, which is a bit of a run on sentence. What is the problem with the original here, because it seems clear and grammatical to me?--SabreBD (talk) 18:44, 1 April 2015 (UTC)
Early twentieth century
[edit]- link 'Celtic Revival' Done
- helped define - defined - well no that is what the text says - too much credit to say they defined it.
- 'knew each other and' - no need to include that. - I think there is - it cannot be implied by the rest of the sentence.
- and all looked - and looked Done
- "They were John D..." - better to introduce them when you first mention them. Done
- They have been described - They were described - this is not contemporary description.
- would be a - was a Done
- link 'First WW' Done
- They were influenced by French painters and the St. Ives School[6] and their art was characterised by use of vivid and often non-naturalistic colour and the use of bold technique above form. - too much 'and' Done
- better to be consistent: use Fergusson instead of J.D. Fergusson Done
- Don't use words such as 'probably'. If it is not certain, better to remove that part Sometimes things are not certain, but still worth mentioning.
- link for 'vorticism'? Done
- while a student - as a student Done
- remove 'strongly' Done
- who was in Dundee and who in Montrose? The word "respective" is in this sentence.
- link for surrealism? Done
- and the work of Bruegel and - use something other than 'and' for the second time Done
- J.D. Fergusson should be Fergusson Done
- Link Second WW Done
- remove 'had no single style, but' Why? - seems important to say this.
- remove 'strongly' Done
- resident in - resident of - clarified
- whose produced illustrations for the work of Robert Louis Stevenson and Paul Strand (1890-1976), who produced atmospheric depictions of Hebridean landscapes. - whose and who sound odd. Better to rephrase it. Done
Will review the remaining article later today. Thanks! — Yash! [talk] 08:50, 2 April 2015 (UTC)
References and images
[edit]- Please add WP:ALT to the images. You know this is a FA not a GA requirement - right?
- Yeah but i always bring that up at my GARs. What's the loss in adding it? — Yash! [talk] 21:43, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
- Scotsman.com should not be in italics Do you have a link to the MOS for this one. This seems to be quite correct in many guides outside Wikipedia, but I have not found anything internally. Also seems to implied as correct since templates italicise this.
- I read in some GA review that anything that is not printed should not be in italics. I am not able to find that review though. — Yash! [talk] 15:04, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
- There is no need to include full reference that are in 'Notes', in 'Bibliography' as well - This article uses a short title for repeat refs, but full for the first instance.
- guardian.co.uk - The Guardian. Also link it. Done
Everything looks fine here! — Yash! [talk] 10:12, 2 April 2015 (UTC)
Later twentieth century to the present
[edit]- Post-War - Post-war Done
- Better to not use words like 'highly influential' Done
- Barns-Graham (b. 1912-2004) and Margaret Mellis (b. 1914-2009) - Remove 'b.' Done
- Also a visitor to Paris was Alan Davie (b. 1920),[24] who was influenced by jazz and Zen Buddhism and moved further into abstract expressionism. - Also a visitor to Paris was Alan Davie (b. 1920),[24] who was influenced by jazz and Zen Buddhism, moved further into abstract expressionism. Done
- both grouped - grouped Done
- Scottish Realism or Scottish realism? Please be consistent Done
- better to introduce the pups in the start, preferably after 'and the Glasgow School of Art' Done
- has a comic book-like quality and puts - had a comic-like quality and put Done
- Currie has revived - Currie revived Done
- Important - Notable Done
- who have received - who received - We are in the present tense now.
- However, he has received little acclaim from critics. - However, he received little acclaim from critics. Also in the present tense now.
Institutions
[edit]- National Museum of Scotland, - remove the ',' Done
- I am not sure if 'the' should be used in 'from the decorative arts'. Probably it should not be there. It looks right to me - we would talk about "the arts" not "arts". See also the opening sentence of Decorative arts.
- If NGS and SNGMA have national and International collections, then best to combine those sentences - Except one is modern and one not - so I cannot see how to express that as being the same.
- Glasgow galleries - start that from a new paragraph Done
- the new Millennium - please write that in years Done
- has had - had - they did not stop having them - continuous past tense is correct.
- in the city in 1760 and was established in 1907 - in the city in 1760, was established in 1907 - clarified
This wraps it up. Thanks for writing the article! — Yash! [talk] 06:52, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
- OK I have implemented all I can without in some way changing the meaning of what is said. Everything I have just done is marked with a Done.--SabreBD (talk) 14:20, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
Result
[edit]- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Everything looks in order. Passing it. — Yash! [talk] 21:43, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
- Thanks for all your effort on this.--SabreBD (talk) 22:17, 7 April 2015 (UTC)