Wikipedia:Peer review/Luna (Feid and ATL Jacob song)/archive2

Luna (Feid and ATL Jacob song)

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Currently a GA, but I want to upgrade it to FA. I don't want to make the same potential mistake I made here, so I'm nominating it here first. I think that in the rest of the criteria for FA the article has no problem, but the prose part is the most complicated for me. In additon, I want a mentor for this.

Thanks, Santi (talk) 02:58, 23 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Pollosito: It has been over a month since this has been posted, with no response. Are you still interested in receiving comments, or can this be nominated to WP:FAC? Z1720 (talk) 06:27, 4 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720. I'm still waiting for any review, since this is not ready for FAC yet. Santi (talk) 00:07, 5 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Pollosito: I suggest seeking a FA mentor who can give comments in this PR. I also suggest that you review articles at WP:FAC now: this will help you understand the FA criteria, and give confidence to others that you can ensure this article meets the criteria. It will also build goodwill amongst the other FA nominators, making your article more likely to be reviewed. Z1720 (talk) 00:49, 5 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Skyshifter

Prose overall could be improved; WP:GOCE could help.

"song by Colombian" → "song by the Colombian"; "and American" → "and the American"; see WP:FALSETITLE
Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Link extended play
Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"Being the second song on which Villada collaborates with an American hip hop producer..." this is not in the body of the article
Fixed. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"it was described as an effort to take the genre to the global level." This implied that the song's creators said this, but this was just one critic opinion. Should be clarified or removed
Fixed. I do not want to literally mention the staff because my idea is catch the reader's attention for delving into the context. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
", relates" → ", it relates"
Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"'Luna' topped and peaked at the top 10 the charts in eight countries respectively" confusing, maybe:
- "Luna" appeared in the top 10 of the national charts of eight countries
  Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"the man tries to fix it by going back in time" so it was deliberate? The article says "but time repeats" as if it was sudden. I haven't watched the video so I don't know what is right.
Clarified. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"calling it a video of love and hope under adverse circumstances" this implies that "the public and music critics" said this when it was just one critic. Should be clarified or removed
Fixed. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"set list of his" → "set list of Villada's"
Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The first sentence of "Background and reception" is quite convoluted; here's a suggestion:
- A few months after releasing his fifth studio album, Feliz Cumpleaños Ferxxo, Te Pirateamos el Álbum, Salomón Villada released his first extended play, Sixdo, through Universal Music Latino as a surprise release on December 2, 2022.
  Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"It includes 'Le Pido a Dios'" doesn't seem that relevant?
Because that song shares one characteristic I hope you found. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"On August 24, 2023, Villada announced on Instagram his sixth studio album, Mor, No Le Temas a la Oscuridad, and its track listing after the release of its single, "Ferxxo 151", and released it later on September 29." this is super confusing again. Here is a suggestion:
- On August 24, 2023, after releasing the single "Ferxxo 151", Villada announced his sixth studio album, Mor, No Le Temas a la Oscuridad, on Instagram, along with its track listing. The album was released on September 29."
  Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"Continuing its end-of-year tradition" what tradition?
Every December, the Colombian star has been known to drop a surprise EP or project for his day ones. — Rolling Stone.
It is not the first time that the Colombian publishes a Christmas gift for his fans, last year, after publishing his album in September, he released the EP 'Sixdo'. — El Tiempo.
This should be in the article, as it is not clear what tradition it is. Skyshiftertalk 22:00, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

El Colombiano's source moved, which says: As is customary, Feid releases a musical work every December. Santi (talk) 23:46, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Is the "I want you to enjoy it as it is" quote really necessary for this article?
It's his gratitude to his fans. I don't know how to short this. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
", but" in the last see
??? Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I guess I didn't finish the sentence, oops Skyshiftertalk 21:21, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"Universal Latino released both the album and the song on December 1, but later sent the track to Italian radio as a single on March 1, 2024." The first part of the sentence implies that they were released separately, and there is no reason for a "but" here as there is no kind of contradiction. You can do:
- Universal Latino released "Luna" as part of the album on December 1. On March 1, 2024, they sent the track to Italian radio as a single."
  Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"sound of the Colombian" — "the Colombian" is Feid? That's WP:Elegant variation and should be avoided.
Clarified. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"from public" → "from the public".
Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"for its plot, and" → "for its plot." It's better to begin a new sentence here
Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"described that its plot" — remove "that"
Done. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
"tries to fix things with her" — what's "things"?
Cited. Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
That Paraguay number one seems relevant to be mentioned in "Commercial performance".
Do you mean about the monthly chart? Santi (talk) 21:05, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Yep. Skyshiftertalk 22:00, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Then, done. Santi (talk) 23:47, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Skyshiftertalk 14:07, 29 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Skyshifter: Thank you so much for the review. Instead I do not want to become this to a FA anymore for "poor info", I think these changes, regardless it would be GA or FA, were needed. After curing "Classy 101" of the mess I made, would you mind leaving me with these kinds of observations in the discussion? Santi (talk) 21:12, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

And also sorry for addressing too late. Once and for all, there was a rumor about a remix with Don Omar, and he confirmed that saying it'd been cancelled due to health problems. When I put this info to the article, I'd like a review about it, just if you want to. Santi (talk) 21:22, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Re-opening

I will be honest and talk openly: since falling again with "Luna"'s FAC, I have become discouraged a lot and I almost don't have interest in this process anymore, despite the reviewers tried to say "don't worry". However, since this article is in the middle between Good article and Featured article, something similar to A-Class, I guess I am forced to continue. @Chris Woodrich: If you want and can, you may continue with your prose review unfinished in the FAC, since I adressed almost all your coments. @SchroCat: If you want and can, would you mind telling me about the "broken English"? I re-read the music video section, which you mentioned as example, and I completely understood it (without translating LOL). Santi (talk) 18:24, 19 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Santi. I could go over this with a fine-toothed comb on my own, then we can discuss any changes. I didn't want to do that at FAC, because that could potentially put me over the "involved" line given the amount of work needed, but at PR it's not an issue. And we're being honest when we say not to worry... everyone's had failed candidates. I remember being dejected that Theory of Literature failed (well, I withdrew it when it became clear it wasn't going to pass), but I kept on trekking. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 18:29, 19 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"The video begins by showing the singer running through the desert and singing along the song with Jacob around a car." This is incomprehensible (just as an example). There's so much wrong with the English in the rest of the section (some of it basic stuff) that I am perplexed as to how this reached GA. - SchroCat (talk) 05:01, 20 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@SchroCat: I tried to fix as much as I could, so I hope you understand now. Fixing the prose made me see that I still have problems with the correct usage for in, on and at. I do not have perfect English, so I will have serious problems while I fix, including, basic stuff. Talking about the GA status, the English (as I understand) has not to be perfect, and, as I told you, it was comprehensible to me and (perhaps) Kyle Peake, the GA reviewer. Santi (talk) 00:57, 21 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

For a GA it may not have to be perfect, but it has to be correct, and this article falls short of even GA standard. It's a very long way off being FA standard. - SchroCat (talk) 09:22, 21 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@SchroCat: OK. So I think I cannot make or review any high-quality article (GA or FA) until I have a higher level in English. If the language problems still persist for you anyway, I think I'll have to take a long break from Wikipedia in total absence. Santi (talk) 15:53, 21 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]