Wobbuffet
“WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBUFFEETTTTTTTTTT!!”
“It is the MOST annoying Pokémon next to Magikarp....or uh....... GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BALLOON!!”
The love child of Goku and John Prescott (don't ask), Wobbuffet (pronounced: 'Wah-buffay') or 'Wobby' for short, was born shortly after the nuclear bombings on Goku's hometown of Japan. The bombings left Japan plagued with radioactivity, thus resulting in many children being born with retardation. Wobbuffet was one of these children. At the age of 2, Wobbuffet was left to fend for himself, after Goku decided to rejoin the fight against Cell, or vagina, or whatever his name is, nobody really gives a fuck. Anyway, Wobbuffet's other parent, John Prescott, found it hard to cope without Goku around. This resulted in comfort eating. 3 months later, John died of extreme obesity and assholeishness. However, experts have recently began to speculate whether there really was a 'John Prescott' in the first place. Some believe that Wobbuffet simply made his other parent up, to hide the fact that he's actually a bastard and, basically, a walking Buttplug.
Childhood[edit | edit source]
After being orphaned, Wobbuffet was taken in by a local hobo called Bilbo. Whilst in Bilbo's care, Wobby learned many hobo powers, such as stealing food, and asking random strangers for money. However, this was not the life that Wobby wanted, and so he left.
After leaving Bilbo, Wobby was soon spotted by a producer of the reality show 'Pokémon'. The manager knew that Wobbuffet would make a great member of the team, and decided to hire him on the spot. This led to many years of fame for young Wobby.
When I was a kid, we didn't have Wobbuffet, we had Meowth....
Appearence on Big Brother[edit | edit source]
Following an incident involving a teabag, Bulbasaur, and a spoon, Wobbuffet was fired from Pokemon, just after filming the first series. Soon after, Wobby was offered the chance to be a housemate on Celebrity Big Brother. After agreeing, Wobbuffet soon became the public's favourite, with odds of him winning peaking at 1/384. However, after preforming a sexual act on Jade Goody during a drunken orgy, Wobbuffet left the show in disgrace, and went into hiding.
After appearance on Big Brother[edit | edit source]
Whilst in hiding, an oracle approached Wobbuffet, telling him that he was the new saviour, and instructing him to go to Jerusalem. Following this encounter, Wobbuffet changed his name to 'Wobbuffet Christ' and set of on his journey.
After arriving in Jerusalem, Wobbuffet Christ was greeted by Ashton Kutcher, informing him that he had in fact been 'Punk'd'. This left Wobbuffet Christ ashamed and embarrassed. Needless to say, he soon dropped the 'Christ' part of his name.
California[edit | edit source]
After the punk'd incident, Wobby decided to sort his life out. He bought a condo in California, and got the part of a mechanic on Pimp My Ride. Unfortunately, he was constantly ridiculed for his blueness, penis body shape, and that one time he molested a little girl, so he soon quit the show.
Shortly after this, he appeared on the show 'Oprah'. During the show, he refused to interact with Oprah in any way, apparently, due to her colour. After hearing of this, Oprah retaliated by calling Wobbuffet a "stuck up, penis shaped, blue bastard". She appeared in court days later, on the charge of slander. Wobbuffet decided he would drop the charges, if Oprah agreed to become his personal slave. Oprah reluctantly agreed.
Moving again[edit | edit source]
Wobbuffet's life in California turned out to be a short one. After a week of living there, he'd had enough of the pill poping, disco hopping lifestyle, and moved to Bel-Air with his life-long friend Charmander and Oprah.
Future plans[edit | edit source]
At the time of writing, Wobbuffet is currently expecting his first child, whom he plans to name 'Elvis' in honour of his favourite comedian. Of course, Wobbuffet is asexual, meaning that he basically had sex with himself (again, don't ask), and will legally be the child's mother and father. Wobbuffet is also currently one of the front runners in the race to become, "teh maheore uv the internets!!111!!!11!1," trailing behind CATS and the Bloons Monkey. Wobbuffet is running as an independent, meaning that he's either a neo-con trying to look moderate, or a liberal who wants their party to represent every single little idea and concept he does. For this reason, Bill O'Reilly is having trouble deciding whether or not to cut his mike.
Repeated Death[edit | edit source]
His worse enemy Han Solo repeatedly kills him with a glowy stick, and currently lives in the Great Pit of Carkoon.
| Pokémon |
Charizard ⊙ Charmander ⊙ Gardevoir ⊙ Grue ⊙ Hyundai ⊙ Ling-Ling ⊙ Meowth ⊙ Mew ⊙ Mewtwo ⊙ Mudkip ⊙ Muk ⊙ Pichu ⊙ Pikachu ⊙ Raichu ⊙ Snorlax ⊙ Teh Cheat ⊙ Typhlosion ⊙ Towelie ⊙ Umbreon ⊙ Wobbuffet ⊙ Yoshi |
| Poképeople |
Brock ⊙ Herman Cain ⊙ Max ⊙ Pokemon Kid ⊙ Team Rocket |
| Poképlaces | |
| Pokéstuff |
Video game series ⊙ Anime series ⊙ Trading cards ⊙ 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins ⊙ Christian Symbology ⊙ Gotta Catch 'Em All |
