Francium

This type of metal is very American.

Francium is a heavy metal band from France, which was founded by xylophonist Charles de Gaulle in 1993. The members are Martin de Fey (trumpets), Gaspard Tremble (jugs (instrument)), Carole Blaise (yodeling), Angelique-Toinette Fosse Blanchet (unknown), and former president Emmanuel Macron (catering). The group stumbled across the metal after being shoved out of a failed concert in a British style pub in the outskirts of Lyon with their previous band, Bread and Circuses. It gave them the idea to name the band "Francium", after the country they were soon exiled from after failing to impress sitting French president Pepé Le Pew after insulting his coquet.

Discography[edit | edit source]

The Blue, the White, and the Red[edit | edit source]

The first song they released was The Blue, the White, and the Red. It was a massive success in Europe, but in the rest of the world, it didn't do so well. "If it didn't do so well outside of Europe, then why are they associated with Canada now?", you may be asking. Well...

Québec[edit | edit source]

Their first album, Québec, was a massive success in not just Europe, but in Québec as well! Most of the world was starting to associate Francium with Canada, rather than France. Québec didn't feature The Blue, the White, and the Red, but featured other songs like New Countries and La Musique Française; literally "The French Music".

Francium (element)[edit | edit source]

Francium itself is the most concentrated form of French in existence, which can be found littered throughout the French countryside, and occasional parts of Morocco and Tunisia in the holiday seasons. After thorough study from the international community, it has become a generally accepted fact that Francium is one of the most toxic metals known to man, often critical of one's taste in music, cuisine, and general understanding of history. A particularly notable property of Francium is its violent reaction upon contact with water, which is due to the fact that the metal is French.

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