Portal:Music

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The Music Portal

Music is a 'form of art' first discovered by Charles Darwin in the 1800s. It is a sort of root, that often has a beat to it, although some people have thought that music is actually a form of lanksop hypnosis made by singers who just want to sell their CDs. Often when music is played, people start dancing, as music often results in your body going into spasm that takes over your body with its infectious rhythm. This is due to the fact that music is a potent neurotoxin, and can cause long term damage to the central nervous system. Scientists are trying to prove that music is a disease and so those who are infected with the virus (such as rock stars) die before their time, (like Elvis and Jesus). It seems to severely affect drummers. It is also a fact that having absolutely no musical skills!!! result in immunization to the disease, such as birds, blink-182 and, Oasis. Music was designed only to annoy those who hear it and cause them to go insane and outsane. Music can come in many forms. Revolving, singing, blowing, strumming, and pressing are only some on the possible insanities that be music. (Full article...)

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Highlighted Article

National Treasure John Peel on wonderful Radio Caroline.

"Wugga, wugga and welcome back the Perfumed Garden Psychedelic Special hastily assembled because Dave Lee Travis appears to have fallen overboard and been harpooned by whalers. In the finest traditions of Pirate Radio I'm wearing an eye-patch and cutlass and you may be able to hear my parrot Syd squawking in the background. But tonight's show is brought to you live from my living room at Peel Towers due to car trouble stopping me getting to the ferry out to good old Radio Caroline...

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Article credit: Funnybony

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Music in the News

Green Day says bad things.mp3 (file info)

MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.

Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?"

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Article credit: Zim ulator

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Featured Image

Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)

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Image credit: Marinos

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Featured Artist

One of Miles' favourite things: Coltrane playing saxophone

Miles Davis was a jazz musician. He played trumpet. People say he's black, but that's because they're part of the predominantly white establishment who wanted to pigeonhole him into one category. Miles doesn't like categories, and he said himself: "I'm all races at once, baby. That's what fusion was all about, don't you know?" Throughout his long career, Miles also redefined jazz humour, by being the most humourless jazz personality to ever have existed. In effect, Miles taught his proteges that it was fine to ignore the audience while playing, not to announce tunes, and even turn your back to them (to be fair, a lot of audiences turned their backs to Miles when he started playing syrupy pop-jazz in the eighties). You might want to classify Miles' humour as "black comedy".

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Article credit: Knucmo2

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Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”
– From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)

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Featured UnTunes

UnTunes

She's just a girl, but she is grilling.

Grill on fire

This song is a promotional piece written and performed by Iron Chef Bobby Flay for Food Network, sung to the melody of Alicia Keys' Girl on Fire.

It's just a grill, but it's on fire

Ready for the coals to set, fish is waiting in the net

I'm cooking with a grill and it's on fire

We can fix you up a steak, have a picnic by the lake

Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

We got some surf and turf now (more...)